I recently applied for my drivers license, hoping it would be easy to drive around for my career. But, previously i hesitated to even apply but a lot of people encouraged me to take on my license as i a growing and more things are coming into our way. So, i applied, I passed my theory test and i am now in my 3rd practical driving lesson. I have passed about 12 hours of course and we have another 3/4 hours to go in my next class.
At first, it seemed fun but as we drive on the road, i am getting more and more scared. I am being very cautious and edgy. My instructor seemed really pissed at me for not knowing many of the basics and not doing well in my driving lesson. I almost cried during today’s class cause he literally said, you do whatever you want since you are not taking effort to learn.
I wouldnt say i am not taking effort, well i am trying but i am still really noob at this whole thing and I am still very much afraid. The last time i drove, i almost hit a car and the memory is still traumatizing. I know i am handling my past memory better this time and having a bit more confident but its still not good enough and i often get stuck when the car stops and i felt so bad for pissing my instructor today.
Hi Friend, Thank you for your post and congratulation of passing your Driving theory test.
I will let you into a secret, I can’t drive. I used to have a scooter/moped when I was 17 and used to ride around on that but I never learned to drive a car because I was too anxious to learn. I regretted it for a long time but now I look at the roads and they are scary so I am not surprised its overwhelming to learn.
One thing that is absolutely crucial when you are doing anything as important and stressful as learning to drive is an instructor that you can rely on and trust, one that makes you feel calm, relaxed and most importantly gives you positive reinforcement and constructive critisism, not making you feel dreadful and frightened to drive.
I would seriously encourage you to change you instructor even now at this later stage. There are instructors out there that specialise in people that have anxiety which is awesome, maybe you could find one in your area.
Please do not let this put you off from doing something you want to do.
I hope that you can work it out and I would love to hear when you do pass your test. Much Love Lisa. x
Driving can be sooo stressful. To be fair, if your instructor was upset, it was very mostly on them and not on you. And instructor needs to be, by definition, patient with the people who are learning, because they are not supposed to know everything and master something at once. It’s a process, a work in progress. This was your 3rd driving lesson, so you are still very much at the beginning of this learning journey. I’m sorry that, combined with the stress that driving creates, you had to deal with this reaction. It’s hard because you’re already overwhelmed and trying to think about so many things, and on top of it there is someone else’s emotions at play and interfering.
It is unfortunate that the anxiety and fears associated to driving - and learning to drive - are not very considered in general. I have driving anxiety, and like you when I was getting driving lessons I was very anxious about it. It then becomes a vicious cycle of: being anxious abotu something bad happening or making a mistake, then you are less focused, then a mistake happens. Sometimes anxiety is this active force that sabotages us, which is so frustrating! Learning to be calm when we drive and feeling alert but not panicked, is essential, and definitely another learning process in itself. Given your near accident before, it is even more understandable to have this anxiety when you drive for now.
If you feel like your instructor may listen to you, I would highly encourage you to let them know that you do have fears pertaining to driving at the moment, and that you would like them to help you learn to overcome this as you have your driving lessons. Somehow, this is about re-learning to feel safe when you drive. If it is done very brutally, it can be a shock and counterproductive. It’s like having a bad experience full of stress/fears, then you slowly associate this experience with driving, which again is a vicious circle.
Through all of this, please be gentle with yourself and very patient too. Yes, there are X amount of hours expected at first, but what matters is that you can develop some foundations of safety while you drive – of feeling safe and confident in what you do. Which takes time! And that is completely okay.
