Drowning in my own life

I (19 F) feel like Im up to my throat in worries, yet I feel like my life hasn’t even begun yet. For some background, I didn’t have a great upbringing. My dad was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive, my mum wasnt very present because the same was happening to her and I was being bullied in school for being different. I’ve always felt like the odd one out, even when I moved into my senior years of highschool and began to make friends that included me. I’ve always had a tendency to push people away even when I need them the most. Ill never admit that I need help.

My attachment and emotional intelligence issues have followed me around my whole life and for a while I thought I was finally getting better. Things took a turn this year, and I have felt myself spiralling out of control. I finally moved out from living with my mum and for a while things were amazing. I was working full-time in a well paying job, studying my dream course in university. Eventually the sweet life started falling off when I began feeling exhausted all the time, getting sick far too often, i started looking physically unwell. It just kept getting worse and worse from there. My nan got diagnosed with a brain tumour, i was being mistreated at work for taking too many sick days from mental health. I ended up losing that job. My mental health was just on a rapid decline from that point. I had never felt more alone in my life. My parents never showed any concern for me, only contacting me if they needed something. Even the cries for help didn’t prompt her to ask if I was okay. All I want is a hug or a rub on the back from my mum and for her to tell me everything’s going to be okay. Moving forward from there, after many doctors visits for my declining physical health I got diagnosed with a tumour in my uterus. That day, I walked out of my partners house still crying from the news and saw my car on the side of the road- someone had hit it and run (it got written off).

I have too many things going on in my life and not enough room to breathe. Im struggling being in a relationship with my very loving boyfriend because of this. And I know its affecting him too. I feel like such a burden and a waste of space. Im not sure how to get out of this, all I want is to feel loved and cared for but I feel like i just cant connect on that level

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Hi hello kitty,
I am sorry to hear the many troubling things that have occurred in your life. It seems like you had a very abusive upbringing in at home and at school, possibly for being different, and when things spiraled out of control in your life with your health, you lacked the support that you should have received from those around you: your mom and your employer. It seems like your mom doesn’t provide you with unconditional support but is rather looking to receive something from you, which is sad given what you have been through.

The vast number of negative things happening in your life has certainly taken a tremendous toll on you, and you have every right to feel overwhelmed to the brink. I am thankful that you have a loving boyfriend to support you, but it feels like you need even more support. Have you pushed away those who are trying to help you currently like how you did in the past? Are you allowing them to be a hearing voice amidst the emotional and mental burdens you are currently facing? I know you mentioned earlier that you would never admit that you need help, but I feel like you are addressing that issue as you have brought up your concerns to HeartSupport! I know you may have difficulty connecting on an emotional level, but I just want to let you know that the community at HeartSupport believe in your concerns and will provide you with unconditional love and support through the difficulties you face.

Hope this helps!

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Hey my friend. I am so sorry about this cascade of events. It must be difficult to swim amidst the waves of this ocean. Drowning in my own life - HeartSupport / Support - heartsupport — Mozilla Firefox - 24 July 2024 | Loom

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