Drowning in pain

I don’t really know how to start. Basically, I’ve been severely depressed for 6+ years now and don’t know how to go on. I’m 20 now, and life hasn’t gotten any easier. I’ve been to so many counselors and it hasn’t helped, online therapy, hospitals, support groups… nothing has had lasting effects on my life. I need healing. I’m a Christian, so I know i can always go to God, but i feel like I need support as well, and my situation right now, I don’t have any support or really any friends either cause I recently moved. Basically, i just want to heal. I need support and i feel like nobody really gets that. Sometimes I truly feel like music is the only reason why I’m still here today. It’s gotten me through so much. Anyway, I feel like i’m constantly drowning in pain and i just want it to all go away. :frowning: Working all the time doesn’t make it any better. I feel like I’m trapped in my head. I just need support. I need hope.

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Dear @Linaelise
There is hope, and by posting here, you’ve taken the first step towards getting support. Life may at times be stressful. But things will get better. Go out and socialize, you’ll find friends, maybe some who can relate with you. Try not to bury your emotions with food or by overworking yourself, it’s unhealthy. Stay strong, and take care of yourself. Things will get better.

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Hey @Linaelise,

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) in 2012, so it has been a little over 6 years for me too. Being a Christian and struggling with a mental illness can be tricky, because yes, you can always go to God, but sometimes you need “worldly” intervention as well (i.e. counseling/psychology, psychiatry, support groups, etc [which I, too, have gone through]).

I have a list of things that I turn to when I’m going through an extremely difficult season, and one bullet-point is to temporarily change my music to something relaxing (i.e. Hillsong, Bethel, Hammock, etc). Because music seems to be a powerful tool in your life, I would highly recommend leveraging it in your favor.

Two of the most important groups of people who have gotten me through incredibly difficult times were my friends and (extended) family. I can completely empathize with you regarding not having any friends upon moving, because I used to move a lot. Through experience, I’ve found that the best and easiest way to make friends is to volunteer at a local church. In 2015 I settled in Nashville and did some church-hopping before I found the right fit for me - then I made sure to get involved by volunteering. New friends are literally handed to you this way.

Anyway, I hope some of this helped. Please keep us updated! We care about you and want to see you get better. :slight_smile:


Hey there friend,

big big big hugs I can relate. I am 21yrs old now and have struggled with pretty severe depression for almost all of my life (or at least as far back as I can remember). I did counseling and some online stuff but nothing seemed to work. It took trying many medications to find the right combination and even now its still a battle to find what works for me. Keep searching!!! I believe there is something out there that can help you.

And know you’re not alone. You have no less worth because of your struggle. You may feel alone because you do not physically have people around you but you’ve got friends here now! You have support here. This community is amazing and I’ve made lasting friendships. This community has saved my life. I encourage you to check out the Twitch stream. You won’t be without friends for very long here as theres hundreds of amazing, loving, kind, funny people who are definitely up for making friends with you! Myself included!!!

The sunrise is coming friend. Just hold on.

With love, hugs, and prayers;
Bethy - Team Out of the Ashes

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Hey Linaelise, I am from team Out of the Ashes, I know that depression can get you down a lot and I know that it can seem hard sometimes. I have been through counselors too and I think music has helped more than they have. I think sometimes having no friends to lean on makes you stronger when you get out of the place you’re in honestly. I stopped being friends with my best friend about a month and a half ago and it can be kind of freeing actually. I think God is our best bet in times of doubt even if it doesn’t always seem like it. I will be praying for you.

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