I feel like at this point every time I post on this site its basically the same story but for those who are willing to listen here you go:
Before this story starts keep in mind we are all around the same age (16 ish). This is a normal day for me: talk to my ex (we are friends now) and then I play video games with the boys or I watch Netflix or something. A few days ago the guy she dated most recently told me that they had sex (To get a reaction?) and now I am pissed of at him and it doesn’t help that about a year ago i developed homicidal ideology. A few hours ago one of my “friends” and I were playing Minecraft. We were on the subject of my ex and one of her friend (who he liked a while ago). When we were talking he said he wanted to tell me something but that he wanted to wait a while so that i wouldn’t be as mad; makes he think that he made out with my ex and now I’m SUPER anxious about the whole situation. I still have some feelings for the girls but I am choosing not to act on them because I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to confront her but I can’t help that people just don’t understand that I don’t want to hear about what you did with her. It’s not fucking rocket science. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I might be going to the local fair with her next week but that’s still to be decided. At I’ve already isolated myself enough as it is but, I don’t know if i should just do it again. I don’t think that I can trust people anymore because it seems like when I do they will just stab me in the back.
Sorry that was so long, my mind won’t shut the hell up and I can’t stop over thinking about the situation and I feel like might have a panic attack. I don’t know how I should deal with the stress.
Thank you to anyone who read all of that. It’s dumb but I feel like this is the only place to go where i won’t be judged.