So, I had dumped my previous boyfriend because another boy had shown me a lot of the toxic things my previous boyfriend had done. When I dumped him, the boy that showed me all of the bad things, asked me out. Of course I had said yes, I was distraught and I had liked him for a while. I was so happy, he was the first person to treat me like a real person and not just an object. On Friday night I had let him treat me like an object because that’s what I was used to, let them treat you like an object and they won’t dump you. Saturday night, he just dumped me, he said it was “me being too clingy” but he also said it was because I was taking him away from his friends, I never meant to, I want him back so bad, but he was a complete jerk about it. I asked if I could hear his voice one last time and he just yelled at me while he was on a discord call with all his friends, he did it to show off for them. I’m stuck with this feelings for him and wanting to gain a shit ton of weight that I can’t. I was in such a good place, I’m happy with my body I went back to my natural hair color and signed up for cheerleading. I’m still doing track and I’m a huge fan of it. I forgave my mom for doing the horrible stuff she did in the past. When I got to school today, the boy I dumped came up to me and said he knew what happened I told him why it happened and he got really mad at me because I called him out on engraving it into my brain. Help me, please, I have no idea what to do…
Breakups are really hard. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Unfortunately there isn’t an easy answer. You are likely going to have to go through a period of grieving - you might find some understanding and hope in looking up the 5 stages of grief and loss.
I have had similar breakups, to be honest. And i know that it can be hard after a breakup when you have people that just badmouth your now-ex, so i am not going to do that to you. But one of the most valuable things i have personally learned is this: It is okay for you to not be okay with how he has treated you. It is okay to say that things are not okay. It sounds like he didn’t treat you well and his behaviour (yelling at you while on a discord call) shows a lack of respect for you. I can understand why you feel so crummy - because you are a human. Anyone who has gone through this would be feeling just like you are. And that’s ok. Its a normal response.
I know that it can be lonely and painful while the breakup is new, but maybe reflecting on how you would like to be treated and reflecting on how to recognize when you aren’t being treated that way will help you to gain control over your feelings and the pain. Help you move forward into a more healthy mindset and a more healthy view on relationships?
IN the meantime, you may just have to accept and go through your grief. Allow yourself to feel sad/hurt. Allow yourself to grieve so that you can process whats happening and then once you are done grieving, you can move forward withouth being sucked back into this pain by either of your exes.
I am so sorry. This sucks. But i believe in you and i know that you are strong (you would have had to be to deal with these 2 guys). you can get through this. They are only feelings. They do not define who you are. Allow yourself to feel them and then be ready to move on when the time is right and you are done feeling them.