Dyshphoria is ruining my life

My phisical gender dysphoria is getting in the way of other things. The things that are most important to me. Such as School, Martial Arts, and playing outside and exploring in my free time. Even with training bras on, my chest feels so heavy and yukky that I cannot bear to play. Every day it seems, my chest gets heavier and my private area gets yukkier. I do not want a female puberty!! I hate this!! My friend Tet was going to get me a binder, but I was too afraid to measure my dimensions and therefore they cannot give me one because they dont know what sise I need. I do not how to get past this dysphoria barrier and do what I love to.


P.S. I am only 12 years old and only in middle school so I cant do some things that grownups or even high schoolers can do.


From: twixremix

hey pengyou,

i’m heartbroken to hear how your gender dysphoria is affecting your daily life. while i am a cis woman, i have walked alongside my friends’ journeys as they transitioned and overcame dysphoria in the teen years. it’s a tough battle to fight but you are far from alone in it. you have so many others who are or who have experienced these same frustrations.

i would say the main action item is to be in a comfortable head space to measure your chest so Tet can help you get a good binder. i know you probably know already to stay away from ace bandages and find a binder that is your accurate size and to continue resizing through puberty or else you’ll cause harm to your body. i think eliminating the aspect of a heavy chest will help you through that dysphoria barrier. i hope this reply could help you a bit, my friend, and i wish you the best of luck as you continue your journey. i look forward to hearing from you again soon and hope you stay safe! you got this!



From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, It sounds like you are getting really annoyed with how everything is going right now. I t must be very frustrating for your body to not be how you want it to be especially if you are in to your sports, it seems very unfair doesnt it. I would certainly suggest that you do measure yourselft properly and make sure that everything you do, you do correctly so that you dont do any damage to yourself because if you do hurt yourself you wont be playing any sport. Any other problems you have you should have a chat to your mum about and see what she says, she may be able to take you to see your doctor but that is something for them to talk to you about. I wish you lots of luck with your sports but please do it all safetly and well. Much love Lisa x



Hello Pengyou Thank you for posting :slightly_smiling_face: I’m sorry you are going thru this and I hope that in the near future you can make decisions that will help you to feel like your true self. In the mean time, I would encourage you to give your friend your measurements because you’re going to feel so much better with the proper binder on. Please stay away from things like ace bandages and duct tape, they are not safe for you. There are really nice communities online that can help you, but because you are so young, I would really encourage you to talk to someone in your life who is older that you trust, like your mother for example. I hope you find what you need! ~Mystrose


Hi Dear One,

I agree with my fellow friends replying to your post. The one thing I would like to add is that you take your time and don’t rush through things because you feel like that’s what you HAVE to do. All of the wildflowers in the valley grow at their own pace, and they all create their own unique beauty. Find what you are comfortable with. Find beauty in the small and big things.

You are valid. You are enough. You are strong. You are worth it.


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Pengyou!
I know that going through puberty is awful for everyone. I hated everything about it myself. I cannot imagine what it is like going through it with gender dysphoria exactly but I know I hated it so much my first thought when I learned what was happening was that I didn’t want to be a girl if it meant all of this. I identify as a ciswoman but have questioned that many times throughout the years.

I will say that the one thing I never did that I regret now is that I never talked to my mom about how I was feeling about all of it. I know it’s cliche but it’s true. I hope you have a woman in your life you feel close enough to to talk to about this stuff. Especially one who understands how you feel about your gender identity. Even if it isn’t an adult but an older girl you know and trust that may be helpful.
Good luck with everything :hrtlegolove:


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