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Embarrassing Reactions (Meltdown)

So I’ve been pretty stressed out lately as some of you know, and this morning and yesterday morning were absolutely awful. I just want these test results for ASD, and the stress seems to be endlessly piling up - dealing with losing family to COVID, work has added way too much to my plate (over 15 Architectural projects at one time with only 1 other person helping me), having IBS and constant stomach issues, general anxiety, etc.

Just a fair warning, I’m about to describe having a pretty serious meltdown including self harm (no cutting, but hitting), so if you’re sensitive to that kind of thing, you may want to skip this post. I’m going in on my explanation, because this is 100% therapeutic for me and I’m so thankful to have a place I can freely speak about things like this. Sorry in advance for all the cursing


I live in a house that’s split into 3 apartments, so there is someone above me and someone beneath me. The neighbor underneath me is a little strange - he doesn’t seem like he takes care of himself, and he has a dog. I never see him take the dog outside (literally once I actually saw him) and it barks incessantly literally E.V.E.R.Y. morning at 6am when the owner leaves. When I say incessantly I mean literally for HOURS the dog will just KEEP BARKING, and I already have a hard enough time sleeping as it is (#insomnia). The neighbor has flat out told me himself that he keeps the dog locked in his bedroom during the day, which makes me wanna be like “oh no wonder she fuckin barks, it’s cause you’re an ASSHOLE”.

Anyway. This morning in particular I am NOT OKAY. I couldn’t get to sleep until around 3am and I kept waking up all night. And of course, I wake up to that dog this morning at 6am … but it was 10x worse than a normal day. She’d stop barking for 2 seconds and then bark 10 more times.

I started to really lose it because it was 6:30ish and I hadn’t gotten much good sleep. I started yelling at the dog from my floor, things like “lay down” and “no” to see if it would work. This usually gets her to stop at least for a little, but not today. I got more frustrated and started to lose it more, I stomped on the floor HARD and slammed my hand on my coffee table, “SHUT UP” I yelled to the dog. Still the barking continued, and I continued (in my rage I probably didn’t realize the banging was likely making the dog bark more). I now have a bruise on the side of my hand as well (good job self :roll_eyes:)

I tried turning some music up to see if that would help drown out the barking, but it just ended up making me even less able to go back to sleep. I yelled some more to try and get the dog to lay down and stop barking but nothing was working. Finally, it seemed like she stopped, so I closed my eyes to try and get my last precious 2 hours of sleep, and not even a whole minute later she’s BARKING AGAIN. I literally lost it. I sat up, screamed shut up at the dog, and then when she barked more I proceeded to hit my head off of the coffee table several times over and over again as I started sobbing out of absolute frustration. I didn’t exactly do it gently, either.

When the barking still didn’t stop, I got up and walked over to the closet door (where I know the floor is thinner) and continued to try to tell the dog commands to lay down and no and stop barking. It was immediately evident that didn’t work, and I smacked my head off the door (not as forgiving as the coffee table actually), and started slamming my open palms onto the door while kicking at it in frustration. I then opened the closet door and slammed it shut before finally sinking to the ground and just sobbing for about 30 minutes. By the time I was done crying the dog had finally stopped barking. In total she did not stop barking for about 1.5 hours.

My forehead is throbbing now and I feel just. Ashamed and embarrassed that I freaked out. I’ve had meltdowns throughout my life, but this one in particular just feels awful, and I feel like I just want to go into hibernation for a while. My whole body is sore from stress.


I don’t really know how to stay calm about the dog anymore, it’s almost every single day since September 2020, and I’ve tried to tell the leasing office and the lady was a dismissive bitch to me saying “the neighbor is a good person, the last tenant never had a problem with the dog”. Okay lady, the cops also showed up at my fucking door 2 weeks after I moved in asking if I knew who/where the previous tenant was. So obviously the last tenant probably wouldn’t have reported the dog even if it did bother them. I was never warned of this prior to moving in, either.

She then proceeded to tell me I should just try to arrange meeting the dog so it would bark at me less. Bitch the dog ain’t barking AT me. IDK how I could possibly be making the fucking dog bark while I’m ASLEEP… :face_with_monocle::face_with_monocle: I also am a young female and live alone (which she obviously knows), while the dude downstairs is old (like 40s 50s) and gives me the fucking creeps. Of all people she should have understood this, as she’s a nice looking young lady too, but she dismissed my being uncomfortable and patronized me through the whole thing. I just moved to this area for the first time in my life at the end of 2020 anyway, so it’s not like I’m comfortable and have family down the road or know the area super well. The closest people I have are an hour away by car. Plus, it’s kinda her job to manage the properties, isn’t it?

Idk. It’s not like I submit maintenance requests all the time or anything, I’ve been here over a year, and only submitted 3 requests. Once about the dog, once for my stove burner being broken (which was neglected for over a month), and once when my power went out. She should be so fucking lucky she didn’t get an asshole tenant that submits a maintenance request for everything. I also found out the other tenant upstairs is the leasing office lady’s brother, so maybe she just feels like she doesn’t have to give a shit about this property, which is fucked up.

…My plan for now is to go to my boyfriend’s tonight, and stay the rest of the week so I can sleep better. Hopefully I will find a new apartment, because this is becoming absolutely unbearable.

I technically have to work right now, but I’m going to use some PTO and take a nap, because I really need some rest.

Thanks for letting me rant and be open about myself

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Hi there,

I’m glad you shared with us some of what you’re going through.

Do you think you could try playing some soothing music for the dog? Maybe some waves or rain might help the doggy’s anxiety lessen too, or even some kinda baby talk through the walls? Who knows, maybe it could soothe the dog? Worth a shot, if giving it commands and loud music arent working.

Hope you can catch up on some restful sleep! Goodnight!

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Hey @bluejay_18 My goodness you are going through it aren’t you? can I say to start with that although it was indeed a meltdown and I would much rather you were not hurting yourself in anyway whatsoever, I also don’t want you to feel ashamed of your reaction. This has been building and we all have a breaking point and you hit yours today, you reacted, I hope that now you have got that out that you feel somewhat of a release and you don’t feel the need to repeat it.
I don’t sleep much either so I am fully aware of how that can affect the normal day to day annoyances without any extra ones like constant barking dogs or annoying humans, you are also still awaiting those results and I am so sorry that they are keeping you waiting. Is it any wonder you have reacted badly? I think its a great idea to go to your Boyfriends for a few days in the short term and in the long term if nothing is going to be done for you (which I think is wrong btw) you really should look into finding a new place to live, although I am aware that is easier said than done too. I truly hope the next few days are more relaxed and peaceful for you friend and that some restful sleep comes your way.
Much Love
Lisa. :heart:
P.S Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. x

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Thank you both for your kind words - @Sita I will try to play some Lofi or sweet talk the dog next time!! I honestly get so frustrated from being woken up that I just lay there until it makes me mad and I start saying commands or turn up my music, lol. I have a rain app, so maybe I’ll cast that to my TV and see if that works. It’s clear to me that the dog is being mistreated to begin with, and I’m probably not helping by getting angry. If the neighbor wasn’t so weird, I would offer to take the dog outside when I’m home, but even the building owner himself has told me I don’t wanna do that. I’ll trust my gut to keep my distance.

I was able to take a decent nap from 10ish to Noon this morning, which really helped. My work day is a little more hectic now, but I’ll take that in exchange for my brain working properly after being rested.

I’m so glad tomorrow is a holiday, and I have off on Friday too - I’m definitely going to need the time to recover mentally. Especially after Thanksgiving - it will be hard this year since we will be missing a family member.

@Lisaw1973 Thank you for your kind words :heart: I definitely don’t feel like I want to freak out or hurt myself at this point. I honestly just can’t wait for the end of the day so I can go see my boyfriend, and see my family tomorrow. I’m just going to forget about the test results until after the Holiday - maybe that is why it’s so delayed.

I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving, be careful if you’re traveling, and stay safe and healthy :black_heart:

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You too Friend, have a lovely weekend, relax and take care of yourself. try and forget everything for now.
Happy Thanksgiving to you. x

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Do you know how proud I felt after that reply? That you can see how the poor doggy isn’t bad, and is prob miserable too, shows how good you are at heart. I really really hope that this approach can work for the doggy, so that you both c an rest and have restful, quiet 6am times ahead.

Do you have any other male friends in the building? Maybe they can see if they can take the doggy out. But yes, it is better to trust your gut and ensure you are safe.

Glad you got some much needed rest, and hope the next two days help you as well.

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Guys - I got the dog to stop barking - TWO DAYS in a ROW!!!

I used my rain app on my phone and casted it to the TV after @Sita had made those suggestions - when the dog started getting upset yesterday and this morning, I turned the volume up (not too loud, but enough that it was audible downstairs) and it took a minute or two, but she eventually calmed down! I even got to go back to sleep for an hour and a half!
I wonder if the noise lets her know that someone is there and she’s not all alone - my heart is broken for this animal right now. I wish there was a hole in the floor I could drop treats through or something.

On another note - I reached out to the therapy office this morning to see where my results were - I actually called and left a voicemail and additionally sent an email. In the email, I expressed that my anxiety was very high while awaiting the results, and I got a response back within a few minutes with a quick update; They said they had to switch over one of their electronic programs, and some people needed training, so they had to push back some reports. She said she’s checking today to see where they’re at.

I really hope they can release the results this week - I’m dying to know the answer

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wooo so glad that both you and the doggy got some rest and comfort from the rain sounds! Poor doggy deserves better, I hope that your rain brings some comfort to the little animal.

Glad you were so proactive about your results, hoping that you hear something back soon!

Keep well, friend!

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Hey I am loving the positivity and how brilliant that you took it all into your own hands to make things happen. Great news about that little dog, that was indeed a very good idea. and the results? I am so so pleased you called, I had a feeling if you told them about your anxiety they would listen, I had to do that once for some results my Mum was waiting for, she couldnt sleep worrying so I called and told them, they were so good about it. Anyway Im really proud of you, I hope this week continues to be as postive as it has started.
Much Love
Lisa :heart:

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Oh man - they told me 2 more weeks of waiting.

At least I know now why I didn’t get my results, and I can try to forget about it for the next couple weeks.

*sigh *

I’m hoping my next post will just be the results lol.
Thank you all for listening and being here for me

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UNDER ESTIMATED AND OVER DELIVERED :sweat_smile:

I’M GETTING MY RESULTS TODAY!!! :black_heart:

*Stand by for updates!

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