Especially-if-there-is-nothing-anyone-can-do-about

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Especially if there is nothing anyone can do about the problem.

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Hi Friend

Thank you for your comment, there are so many terms you can throw at yourself when you have a problem and you can’t do anything about it and most of them would be negative but I think in most situations if we are leaning on others its becaues we have tried everything we can think of so we are reaching out. If your friend had a problem that they were doing all they could to fix and they reached out to you, you wouldn’t call them a burden and you wouldnt be one either. depending on the situation, If a problem that you care about cant be fixed, you work around it. Lisa. x

From: Manni XP - Snow Edition

Thanks for responding! It can feel a bit odd sometimes to talk to people about problems over which they do not have direct control…but that does not mean that they cannot help you in other ways. Sometimes, someone can make a burden lighter simply by being there, listening, and supporting you in your struggle.

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey there :hrtlegolove: I can understand how you may feel like people cannot help you with your problems and it might make you feel like you shouldn’t express them but help comes in all forms. Regardless of whether someone can physically help you or if you think you are unable to be helped there is an amount of help that can be found simply in feeling as though you are not alone. I’m including a clip of one of my favourite lessons from the show How I Met Your Mother and I hope that it might help you as well. Good luck finding people you feel comfortable opening up to that will not make you feel like a burden. You deserve love and care with all of your struggles :hrtlegolove:

It is so isolating and hard to feel like your struggles can’t be improved just by talking, and that no one really can help make the situation better. It’s as if your situation was just too much and you have to carry this burden on your own to not make anyone you love feel helpless either. Many times when I was asked “how can I help/support you?”, my first response was always “I don’t know”. It’s hard to find the right answers. Sometimes we’re just temporary stuck in this middle where everything is confusing, overwhelming, and there’s no clarity or certainty regarding what could be our next step. Then it’s even more awful to look at someone you love who’s really willing to help you but feel defeated as they don’t know how to help either.

Something that I try to remind myself though when I’m struggling the way you do, is that it’s better to have a friend by your side who doesn’t know how to help, because one thing they can still be and know how to, is to be a friend. Most of the time the answers we need will stem from ourselves and the experiences we have over time. But something we can’t get by ourselves are valuable, joyful times spent with our loved ones. Sometimes a way to help is not by giving us an advice or listening, but simply by sharing life together. When we’re struggling, it feels good to have someone helping us focusing on something we enjoy, and sharing it together. Taking a break from our problems with the help of our loved ones is, sometimes, an effective way to be helped, as it nurtures the spark of life in us. <3