EugeniaCooney Fan #158

My mom and dad are separating. My family just told my younger siblings last week. The day after they told them, my mom packed up everything she owned and went to my grandma. I went with her bc I knew she needed someone with her and my siblings can’t go bc they are still in school. My other brother is away at boot camp and they haven’t told him. Every day I feel more worthless and that life isn’t worth living. My boyfriend is always busy with friends or work and now he works five days a week and on all the days I have off of work. He seemed to be the only one I had but he already lives forty minutes away and I can’t drive yet. I’m lucky if I get to see him but now I don’t think I’ll be able to see him once I start work tomorrow. I’m gonna be working overnight shifts so I won’t be able to talk when we usually do. I try to talk to him about how lonely or worthless I feel. I end up crying bc I end up feeling bad about myself or bad that I even told him I was feeling disgusted with myself. I used to self harm and I really want to start again. I’ve cried every day since I left with my mom. My family is falling apart. I feel like I’m losing my boyfriend. I’m away from the only two friends I had. I feel like love is pointless now. I wanted to marry my boyfriend but now I’m unsure because of my parents. I wanted to move in with him once February gets here but I don’t even feel like I can be up for it anymore. I feel stuck and like I don’t deserve to be here

I’m so sorry friend. I understand how it feels to be in the middle of a family that is falling apart. My mum has just told my dad after 27 years of marriage she no longer loves him or wants to be with him, and it’s just a downward spiral from there. The pain it causes is some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
I’ve had to learn to accept that whatever happens, happens. It’s okay to feel what I’m feeling, but taking on the emotions of my family is crushing me. I think right now, the best thing you should do is talk to your boyfriend about this, let him know what you’re feeling and what is happening. You do deserve to be here, and parents splitting up isn’t a reflection of you. I know it’s hard, believe me, I’m in the middle of something very similar as I said, but I promise you - we will get through this. We just have to let it run its course and let whatever is going to happen, actually happen. Please keep coming back to the wall, join our discord… Message your friends, arrange a time you can visit. Talk to your parents, work something out where you can have contact with both if that’s what you wish, and keep talking to your siblings. I know you said your brother is away, maybe he’s a good person to talk too and take your mind off it for now, since you can talk about something else.
I’m so sorry friend. You’re loved.

Hold Fast

I want you to know that you are not worthless. You may not feel worth it, but I guarantee that there is someone who thinks you are. Love is hard, but it IS worth it. & it comes where you don’t expect it. I think you should take this chance to bond with your mother; have you talked to her about how you feel? Start an open & honesty dialogue with her; it’s a bit scary at first, but after my Mum left my father we started working on our communication. It’s awkward at first, but now she’s honestly my best friend. I know you feel your family is falling apart, but this could actually be an opportunity to grow stronger as a familial unit. Your parents are going through a difficult time, & so are you. Your Mum is probably very scared, as well, & the fact that you’re with her is probably already comforting for her. I hope you can see soon that you’re certainly not alone, & you ARE loved. Don’t ever forget that. <3