About twenty minutes ago, I sat in the breakfast area at school and waited for the bell to ring and every one of my friends just did their own thing. I’m always the one who goes up to them, I never get anyone coming up to me even if I don’t look okay. It’s like none of them care and Im invisible. Everyone is getting into relationships and Im here alone and no one gives a damn. Like I just want to be loved and I want to be cared about but it seems like most of the time, no one actually ever cares as much as they say they do. It’s only my Junior year and I can’t survive another semester and a half like this. I’ll go mad. I’m alone in most of my classes and no one likes me in them. Everyone has their own little group and i’m just here by myself. But I do try to put myself out there, it just seems like no one wants me to stick around so I don’t get the point of being here anymore. I’m so alone.
Im sorry for how you are feeling with your friends right now. I know all too well how that feels. I have had my moments of being in that place and it was really difficult. Maybe you can reach out to your friends and talk to them. Patiently and calmly. Express to them how you feel. Let them know gently that you feel like things are one sided and that you always have to be the initiative. If you express this kindly and gently, they may be receiving and try to work on improving it. Sometimes our friends don’t realize what is wrong until we talk about it. And then once we talk about it we are able to resolve it.
It’s hard watching everyone around us get into relationships and move on while we are stuck without those things. I understand that feeling. I felt that a lot when I was in school and as an adult.
Friend, you ARE loved and cared for. Regardless of whether you work things out with your friends, you are still worthy and deserving of love. From yourself and others. And if for some reason things don’t work out with these group of people, that doesn’t mean you are not valued. You are valued. No matter what. You matter. You are important and your feelings are valid!
Talk to your friends. Let them know how you are feeling. See if you guys can talk it out and work on it.
And if you struggle with depression, my friend please reach out to a school counselor or see if your family will help you set up a therapist. It’s important to take care of you. I know it can be scary but therapy can be really healing. It’s a safe place where you can talk freely and they can help you find resources.
I hope it gets better. Just know that here at Heart Support we are open to you. We love you for you. No judgement.