I recently lost a friendship with my bestest friend, it’s kind of a long story but ever since I got backstabbed a bunch of times I’ve had trust issues which caused me to overthink my friendship with her, so as a result, I would have fights with her bc of how paranoid I would get. When I tried apologizing she said “no you said that ten times now sorry” and ended the friendship. I’m worried she won’t come back but I would think she would bc she is close friends with a girl she also has fights with and me and her had such a great friendship that I’m not sure is really worth letting go of, what should I do?
Well I could understand how she would feel. Just like you having trust issues and being scared of when someone you know might hurt you too or betray you. She may feel the same pain you have felt. being accused of something they never did hurts. Not being trusted and believed in hurts too. If you two usually fight then she might be stressed out that you two always fight, then apologize and fight again. The advice I would give you is to think it over. Do you really want to keep your friendship with her but keep the same routine? If she really is dear to you then change how you approach her. Maybe talk to a therapist and tell her about your trust issue and ask how to solve them or make them better. I am going to say that from personal experience yes, it is scary putting your trust in people that will scare you by not knowing if they will hurt or betray you or not but, I don’t think your really trusting them if you are concerned if they can really be trusted. There is a quote that goes like: “The truth is everyone will hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth suffering for”. I think your friend really cared for you and that’s why she always forgave you and keep being your friend but if something you don’t like happens over and over again then don’t you think you would want it to stop? Try to see things from her point of view. Apologize in person and bring her a little gift. Explain to her how much you care for her and why your afraid to lose her. If you can’t express your feelings out loud well then try writing a card along with the gift and give it to her, a card might be an easier way to write down exactly what you want to say and explain yourself. Maybe take her out to eat one of her favorite sweets. Good luck!
Thank u! But what exactly do you mean by changing the way I approach her? Do u mind explaining that
What I mean is that to not just apologize to her. If you always do something again and just apologize even though you do it then it feels like it’s not sincere. Instead of just saying sorry explain why your sorry and why your apologizing. Do you just apologize so they keep talking to you? Or because you care for them and don’t want them out of your life because you want to keep knowing them? Tell your friend how you generally feel.