Back to heartsupport

EugeniaCooney Fan #327

My best friend of 12 years started dating my brother past year and chose him over me. She rarely talks to me now and it breaks my heart. I cry about it all the time and now I don’t know if I should cut her off or not.



Maybe you should talk to them about how you are feeling. It won’t hurt. Just a suggestion.

Losing a friend is never easy. No matter how it’s done. I know that relationships often cause friendships to distance because as life changes and relationships evolve, it becomes harder to keep up with people and everything going on .

This particular case sounds like it may be even a little more sensitive than normal because it’s your best friend who is now dating your brother. That’s hard. So I can understand your hurt and if you’re feeling disposable or replaced.

I don’t know your whole situation or the circumstances of all the relationships. So I don’t want to say if it’s better to cut them off or not.

But it may be really healthy to sit your friend aside and just share how you feel. See if maybe you can work it out so you can have some hang out time whether it’s you and your friend or all three of you. Talking is healthy. I encourage to try that before cutting them off. Unless there is some unhealthy thing going on.

You are loved and cared for friend and I’m sorry you are having a hard time right now. I have certainly been there many times. Some of which I resolved the friendship. Other times I had to distance myself. But, when with my friends who have moved on in life, as it does happen sometimes, I still stay connected with them on Facebook.

As life evolves and we get new jobs, relationships, kids, responsibility…we have less time for the things we love and care for. We have to reprioritize and reschedule when we do things. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care for the things and people around us that we used to have more time for. But this is why talking is healthy. So maybe you can set up a time to hang out. Even if it’s not as often as it used to be. Be open to each other’s feelings and life. Understanding.

I hope it gets better my friend. We’re here.

  • Kitty
1 Like

Hey I would personally try to treat this like I would a break up (because it kinda is; you had a really deep long term relationship albeit not a romantic one with this person). I would recommend doing lots of self care and trying to go meet new people and make new friends however you can. :smile:

And as for the cutting off question: that depends on how much you’re hurting. But just know whatever choice you make is the right choice for you, and if a relationship (platonic or romantic) is meant to last, it will survive even a cutting off. And if it doesn’t survive, then at least you have new relationships to look forward to that’ll be different. Maybe not immediately better but they will be different

1 Like

Maybe you arent ready for this step or maybe it will help ease the pain.

People come and go from our lives. It is very painful when you arent ready to let go but they do.

Sometimes it helps me to make a gratitude list of all the things that person did for me. Even the pain can be a growing experience. For me when its hurting really bad and I miss them I try to focus on all the positives. The laughs I would have never had without them… all their support and care when I needed it … even if things have changed even if they hate me I do my best to appreciate and be thankful for everything they did for me.