I keep messing up. Things keep breaking, went back to an old phone, disappointing my Nana. She is all I have left. If she turns on me, I’d be lost.
It’s okay to mess up, but that doesn’t make you a mess up. You are amazing and your failures do not define you. You are loved.
Hang in there friend,
Gosh it can be so brutal to feel like you’re one moment away from disappointing the only person who loves you…to feel like your love and your worthiness is so fragile in the face of all you’ve done wrong, or all that others could see wrong in you. I’m so sorry that you’re in that place, friend.
I remember being in a similar spot in my own life, feeling like I was always at risk of being exposed as totally worthless…I couldn’t remember a single day just feeling like I was okay as I am…it’s such a brutal place to be in feeling like every day is a fight to feel like you can even lift your head from the pillow or look yourself in the mirror.
You are not alone in what you’re facing, and the beautiful truth is that most of the things that you feel or fear about yourself are lies! You aren’t a disappointment. You are loved. You aren’t alone. You are just now being introduced to others who feel the same way. You aren’t worthless. You are precious. And believing the truth doesn’t mean you have to feel that it’s true…faith is something you can exercise! I am fighting to believe the truth that I am loved as well, even when I fail or make mistakes. But when we share about the times that we believe the lies, we can remind each other what the truth is. That’s why I’m thankful you posted here so I had the chance to remind you of the truth about you: you are loved. Dearly loved, sweet friend.