i am losing everyone around and i constantly fuck up wveruthing
Feeling like you’re trying so hard to make progress in relationships…like you’re trying to keep friends, like you’re trying just to belong or be accepted, and to feel like everything falls apart and it’s all your fault…like there’s nothing you could do to not fuck things up. It’s like being a bull in a china shop, where no matter how you move or turn or whatever, you’re constantly knocking shit over, breaking things, people, everything you care about…
I feel like there’s nothing I could to do every truly satisfy the people I love most…like I’m always going to disappoint them – let them down. And when I do, I prove myself over and over and over to be worthless…and believing that to be true about myself totally fucks up the way that I see myself and relate to them and then I end up showing up as mopey or isolating myself because I’m afraid of their rejection…gosh, it’s such a brutal cycle.
Anyways, my hope is to tell you that you’re not alone…that I see you, that I feel you, and that we are in this together…if we’re going to fuck everything up, at least it’s not alone…and maybe we can find hope in one another’s failures that we’re not the only ones and in each other’s victories that maybe hope is possible for us too.
Thank you for sharing your burdens here, friend.
I’m sure that you’re doing your best you can. No one is a fuck up. When I used to feel like I messed up I really got lost in music and turned to music to help
myself cope with the situation. Over time I came to realize that if I truly did make a mistake and I was 100% genuine with an apology that person should forgive
You will always be good enough! No matter what. Some people will come and go as well but trust me, if you open up good people will be around. Keep a clea
r mind and good choices will be made