Well I just lost my best friend today because I messed up I feel like
How did you mess up?
Try to remember there is a equal level of respect in relationships. It is perfectly acceptable for another human being to step in and say “I need to focus on myself, I cannot handle the way our friendship has been” or something similar.
In the past, I’m sure you’ve found other people you were once friends with, no longer appealing for one reason or another, and had to step back from those relationships. You either rejoined friendships later or outgrew them as person, and maybe even found someone you related to better.
Its not to say it’s a lost friendship either, it’s that sometimes you do have to realize that your actions may affect, especially your closest friends and family members. It’s okay to have that space. Give them time. Give yourself time, as well. I hope things turn out for the best for you.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I experienced something similar recently, and it’s so hard. I’m thinking of you, and hope that friendships in your life thrive from here, forward.