Before I came here I was plagued with toxic friends and family that all walked out on me… I finally thought that I had found people who would love ma and support me when I became a part of this community, I even had friends from the discord and Twitch streams, but I guess I was wrong.
The “friends” I’ve made in this community have also stopped supporting me, and not given me a single message explaining why.
I don’t really know where to go from here… These people make a promise that they would be there, and then they leave without a word. This 1 safe place I’ve had is becoming just like everything I’m here to try and work through.
All my suicidal thoughts are back. I don’t want to be alive if all I’m good for is being left and abused… I feel like a relapse in my addictions is right around the corner, and I have no one to help me. Maybe I deserve all the abuse I got. Maybe I deserve to die.
You don’t deserve to die and you don’t deserve to be ignored. I’m sorry you feel like no one is listening. But there are many people that are here for you whether you want to believe it or not. Were here to support you and encourage you through your struggles. We won’t quit on you. Stay in this fight and we will back you up. You are loved here.
Nikkita, you do not deserve to die. I’ve had countless suicidal thoughts myself. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel or tell you when it will get better, but it will. Unfortunately I don’t know if everyone on here is looking to be a reliable buddy to talk to all the time. I don’t mean to say that to be rude or say there aren’t people on here who will be that, but we’re all in this together. When we’re upset we can post something and someone, almost always will say something. I have gone on a few people’s forums that were made by the same person, but at different times multiple times, and others only once. I try and see if I can help anyone out or throw in my two cents on someone’s situation whenever I get the chance, but I don’t pick and choose. I’m sorry if that sounded bad, I really meant that with the best intentions and I don’t mean to say that anyone on here doesn’t care to follow up with people. I just feel that that is the case most of time- people come and go when they need help. Nikkita I hope you can push through this. Fighting off the cravings of an addiction is so very hard and once the first slip up occurs it’s a slippery slope and every relapse is harder to get over from the last. I know from experience because I have a binge eating disorder. I hope things start going more your way. There are people who care for you somewhere, whether it’s here, or in real life with people you might not realize there is always someone. I care Nikkita, and I hope you can push through this👍
