im not sure what to do anymore. everything hurts and my anxiety is getting worse. ill just get random feelings of genuine sadness. im on antidepressants and i have a therapist, but i just still feel empty. i cant tell my mom because shes the one thats paying for this shit. social anxiety is all i every experience anymore and idk what to do. every night i try to sleep, but i cant because i know the next day might hurt even more. it hurts… it hurts so fucking bad.
Anything specific going on or just depression?
Take a deep breath. Things are going to be okay.
There are times, when you’re learning to manage anxiety, where you feel completely lost. Things will get better, even if sometimes there are these moments of uncertainty. As if you’re walking over the void and everything is getting more difficult. I want you to know that you’re not alone in this.
It’s very good to know that you’re in therapy. It’s going to bring you a lot of positive things and help you work on your anxiety. This is something you will learn to live with and you won’t be permanently feeling that pain. Your levels of anxiety will decrease over time.
I know how much it can be disabling and scary. I hate these days when I can’t feel anything but an acute vulnerability. It’s hard to describe precisely, but I learned to recognized it faster over time. So I can accept these moments and I try to take care of myself as much as possible. I do things I enjoy but that are not exhausting. Sometimes it’s all about being wrapped in a cosy plaid and literally do nothing. But that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it.
You’re on the right path, friend. You’re learning to acknowledge how anxiety looks like for you and to know yourself better. Things will get better with time. And even if you feel like you can’t talk about it to your mom, don’t hesitate to talk about all this with your therapist. It’s important for them to understand how you’re going. And if you’re lacking of sleep because of this, it’s something you’d have to consider together because it can really be triggering for you.
Things will be okay. Tomorrow can be a better day.
Sending much love your way.