Typing this at 2:30 am because I don’t know what to do anymore
The last week has been a whirlwind frenzy of pain and mental suffering. I feel so bad all the time almost non-stop. I woke up from sleep just now so I can feel more pain and suffer more.
I wish I could cry but I can’t even, just whimper in misery. I have no one left to count on except my parents who I don’t inform cuz I don’t want them to worry (I’m 32 go figure).
Life is literally hell and it has been bad for a while now. My only saving grace is that I don’t turn to meds (got calming meds but don’t wanna turn to that). Besides that: no career, no job, no relationship, no circle of friends (1 good friend but can’t talk to him), no nothing.
I’d go to therapy but I already did of course and it didn’t turn to anything cuz nothing seems to do in my life.
If this post seems self pitiable it is. And I’m sorry for that. But I just feel like hurt and terrible pain and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I really just don’t. So much stupid pain and I am so tired of it.