Everything is dead

Title. Everything is dead. Nothing brings satisfaction. Everything I do is just that… something I do. It all feels hollow and dead. I’ve never felt so empty before.

A week ago as I was laying in bed trying to sleep I broke into tears. I just wanted to die. I sobbed into my pillow and as I felt my hot breath on my face I actually considered just smothering myself.

It’s like I actually died that night. Nothing is the same and I have no hope left. I don’t know what to do and I have no one to talk to.

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I am so sorry that you are suffering. I’ve been in a state of abject despair more than once. Crying is appropriate. To feel bereft, as though life can offer you nothing, there seems to be nothing but emptiness.

That’s when you have nothing to lose. Your past beliefs have not brought you where you want to be, and the foundations of your identity are shaken.

This puts you in a very strategic position. You can reevaluate yourself, your priorities and patterns of thought and behavior. The path you were on seems to have ended, yet there are countless life paths leading from it.

Devastation is the birthplace of new beginnings. It can reveal inner resources you didn’t know that you had. It’s an opportunity to walk away from negative beliefs about yourself. Perhaps for the first time, you will recognize repeating patterns of thought that have undermined your efforts.

Hope expands vision and reveals opportunities that would otherwise be missed.

Stick around, and let us care about you.

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Hi anonymous.recluse
I have had many times when i felt the same way as you do. You are not the only one feeling like this. I sometimes still feel like this. Many people in fact feel the way you do at some point in their lives. I would like to ask you some questions if that is ok.

Have you tried antidepressants? It is very likely that you are suffering from depresion. If not i would try to talk to you doctor about the way you feel. He might do some tests and help you.

I also wanted to ask you since when do you feel like this? Was it triggered by something or did it seemingly came out of nowhere. Many times these things can be triggered by something traumatic but they dont have to be. Sometimes they are genetical.

Also i wanted to ask if you told somebody about the way you feel? Maybe to a family member or to a friend.

I know i am asking a lot of questions but every person is different and i would like to give you some advice that will help you but i have to know a bit more about the way you feel first.

Thank you for sharing you thoughts with us.
Take care for now
Bye
-Ashwell

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Oh @anonymous.recluse,

I am so sorry that life has seemed to be so empty and numb lately. It is incredibly disheartening to be in this situation of knowing that something isn’t functioning, but somehow, most of the time, we just feel nothing. Until our heart breaks, until the tears come down and all of that has been piling up comes right again to our face.

We are not doctors here and we certainly don’t know the context surrounding what you’re experiencing right now, but I can surely relate to how you feel through my own experience with depression. I’ve been depressed for most of my life, and during my lowest times, it has definitely felt as you described. Just a pile of nothingness on the top of another pile of nothingness, yet feeling way too much at the same time. Everything seems draining, uninteresting, pointless, to the point of wondering why I even care.

You are not alone, friend. And as hard as it is to go through this, there are ways to be helped and supported. This emptiness is not something you are doomed to experience for the rest of your life. It might be hard to envision that right now, but really, this life has something else to offer. More vibrance, fulfillment, joy.

I encourage you to try to reach out to your general practitioner/doctor, or even directly to a therapist if that is something you never did until now. With this post, you’ve acknowledged what’s going on and that something needs to change. Being depressed, whether it’s clinical or seasonal, is not a sign of weakness. It actually displays how strong you’ve been, on your own, for too long. Now is time to be helped as well, friend. :hrtlegolove:

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