Everything’s wrong

Hi everyone so I’ve been feeling very alone. This is sort of just a vent session. So I have a lot going on: anxiety, depression, bipolar 1 , ADHD, suicidal thoughts and eating disorder, All of this screws with my life and sometimes I wish it could all just be over. First my anxiety makes it hard for me to go out in public, I also was bullied in middle school so I think that plays a part. I hate having this debilitating anxiety that causes me not to be able to enjoy things. The depression comes from the anxiety and also sad to say just not being in a relationship, a healthy one. I know what I want but it never happens for me. I have always wanted to be in love. I’m a really down to earth person and I know I deserve it but it just doesn’t work for me. I feel like no one can see me. It makes me feel unworthy and also my weight is up and down and I use food as a way of coping and I’m very insecure about my body. I try to believe that I am beautiful and a man would want me. I’m literally just a mess. I’m fine one moment then crying then on top of the world then back at the bottom and I get these mood swings that nobody understands. Haven’t found the right medication combination that works for me. My adhd makes it really hard to focus and pay attention when people talk to me and people hate me for it. I feel like the whole world is against me. Sometimes I just want to die. I don’t know what to do.

Hello Kate,
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through so much struggle. I wish I had the perfect advice to give you, but I’ll still try. I can totally relate to where you are coming from on certain aspects. I myself felt like the world was against me, and just wanted to be gone. I even came close once by taking a large amount of pills, and hoping to die. So this is going to sound cliche, but I’m glad it didn’t work. I now have a wonderful family, and cannot imagine what it would be like without me here. I wouldn’t have got to have my beautiful sons, who are my world.
I’m also very sorry to hear you got bullied. I hate the thought of my kids going to school, because kids can be cruel. Just think though, a lot of bullies do what they do because they are jealous. I’m sure they target others whom they sense are wonderful people, and try to bring them down. I know it’s much easier said than done, but forget them. Don’t let it destroy your chance of going out now, and meeting wonderful people. I’m not sure if you’ve met them yet, but on the other side of the spectrum you have awesome individuals like Dan and Casey. These are the type of people that can certainly help you feel better about yourself.
Also, as far as things not happening for you, I’m sorry this is the case. Just remember, life always has plenty more opportunities, so take them. I’m not saying you may accomplish everything you want, but know that you tried. I can even use myself as an example. I messed up a great opportunity in the past, but have not yet given up.
Also, you have got to learn to love yourself first. I understand it’s tough, because even I can say I’m not sure I love myself to the fullest. Although, I think it’s important to do so for when you do meet that right person. I believe they will see the difference in your confidence, and embrace it. I know you will meet someone who truly loves you for the down to earth person you are. I also know they will accept everything about you.
So please know you are beautiful, and for anyone who thinks otherwise, their loss. I also hope you can find medication to help with your ADHD. I have no idea what that is like, but hope you can get it under control. I really hope my advice helps you. I wish nothing but the best for you moving forward. Please Hold Fast, and know you have this communities support!

Thank you so much for all the kind words and advice! I am happy everything worked out for you and that you are going strong!

Thank you so much for all the kind words and advice! I am happy everything worked out for you and that you are going strong! Thank you! Best of luck to you!

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