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Everything triggers me, im stuck

I’m having breakdowns so often now

When I walk out in public and see friends together to couples, I get upset and then I spiral

My mom makes me mad and then I spiral again
My brother too, I can’t take it

I can’t be around anyone anymore, I don’t deserve that privilege, I don’t get that.

Cause it gets harder and harder to feel sane
And I hardly feel safe anymore

I hate being here

I thought I would get some work done today but I’m stressed out yet again. I can’t function like this. I wanna leave this school bathroom but I can’t. But at the same time I can’t keep missing classes like this.

I just want to sleep and not wake up anymore, just stay that way.

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Hey @Amaris,

I am so sorry you’re experiencing so many struggles and that it’s become difficult to deal with life right now. I hope you made it through the rest of your day at school. It makes totally sense that you don’t want to wake up to a reality in which you’re suffering so much. Is there a way to change this reality? Do you have any support available to you that could help you achieve this?

What is the emotion that you feel when you see others when you go outside, what exactly makes you upset? Why do your mother and your brother make you made? Of course, only if you like to share.

I hope you’re safe and I’m glad you’re here and share with us how you feel. Sending you hugs and much love. :hrtlegolove:

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi Amaris. I am so sorry you feel so terrible. I know that the past few weeks have been very hard for you. Here is the biggest hug I can give :hugs:. I know there has been a lot of things happening in your life. I am so sorry you have to go through all this. I know you mentioned writing a fantasy novel. Have you tried it recently? It might give you something to keep the mind busy and not think about hurtful things. I really hope things will get better for you Amaris. Sending love :heart:

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From: Micro

Hey friend. I would love for you to join an Action Group on our Discord server, if that is something you would be comfortable with. These are basically support groups to help you take healthy steps/actions in your life. A community in the community to help you and encourage you to take care of yourself and receive the support you need in your life. I would love for you to have these connections too. You’ve been going through a rough time lately and you deserve to be encouraged as much as needed. Would you be okay to DM me about it? I’m more than willing to give you as much information as needed about it, and connect you with a group lead of your choice. They are safe spaces to be actively supported. You don’t have to earn that. It IS available. I would love for you to be supported one level further. It is not a privilege to have safe and healthy connections. It is an fundamental need that we all have. :hrtlegolove: PS - Here’s for some basic info about Action Groups: Join an Action Group or a SWAT Team! – My Discord ID is Micro#1923. Shoot me a message there whenever. I’m all about making these support groups accessible for you IF you would like to give it a try.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

hey friend, I am so sorry that you have been suffering so much, its heartbreaking to hear you so unhappy. I wonder who you get to speak to at home when you are feeling sad. have you tried to call the crisis line and speak to anyone there. I understand if its hard to speak to your Mum as sometimes they are a bit too close. I also wondered if you are still making clothes for your dolls that you bought?? I thought that would help take your mind off of things a bit or calm you down a little. I really hope you can find a way to find some happiness in your life. I want that for you. Much love lisa. xx

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From: SuchBlue

Hi Amaris,

I’m so sorry that wherever you go you seem to have some sort of trouble. Is there someone who you trust, makes you happy, and feel comfortable with sharing what you’re experiencing? I’m sure that doing so will make you feel a lot better.

I hope that your struggles will stop being a challenge soon :hrtlegolove:

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Hi Amaris

Once upon a time I had mental issues where I didn’t want to leave the house (still sorta do) in college and I did not take the time to talk to my professors or anyone at the college that might have been able to help. When I didn’t show up to class or turn in my work (or quality work) they didn’t know it might have been because of my mental state vs just not caring about my work overall. I am not sure if you have spoken to them about having a hard time and/or sought out help at school, but something can usually be worked out somehow.

Life is full of stuff we have to do…I know that I don’t like getting triggered and losing control so after I have had one of those moments I have to look at what it is that upset me and the moment that I lost it. I usually have to walk it back a little bit and try and think of things that lead up to that moment and see if I already wasn’t 100% because something else already had me half-tilted already…

The next time I get triggered by the same thing I can usually see it happening but I am sorta powerless to stop it…which really stinks…but after that its easier to tap the breaks on it and take an off ramp. Sometimes its me having to tell people I need to take a break and I go outside or somewhere else.

So like, whatever you need to do to make life work for you is ok. Choosing not to want to go out is a choice and one I usually make myself. I work a 40 hour a week job and have to do shopping, but otherwise I don’t really leave the house and honestly its a lonely life, but its what I choose because I like it better than the other options. - its nothing to be ashamed of. - its nothing to beat myself up over

Whatever you end up choosing to live your life the way you want is ok, but life is short and Its worth trying to find a way to be happy and get as much out of it as you want. I know it seems like we should all just know how to do…whatever in life…but most stuff is like learning a skill…it takes practice and we suck at first.

Sometimes like regular life stuff like making small talk or flirting on purpose or enjoying the company of people in general (all examples of me personally and not trying to project on you).

Good luck, take care of yourself.

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This thread makes me happy cause I noticed that some of the comments made references to things I’ve posted about in the past. The one about my dolls and the novel I was writing. That makes me feel heard and in a way that’s kinda like a love language to me. When people hear me and understand me, that makes me feel loved❤

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