Once upon a time I had mental issues where I didn’t want to leave the house (still sorta do) in college and I did not take the time to talk to my professors or anyone at the college that might have been able to help. When I didn’t show up to class or turn in my work (or quality work) they didn’t know it might have been because of my mental state vs just not caring about my work overall. I am not sure if you have spoken to them about having a hard time and/or sought out help at school, but something can usually be worked out somehow.
Life is full of stuff we have to do…I know that I don’t like getting triggered and losing control so after I have had one of those moments I have to look at what it is that upset me and the moment that I lost it. I usually have to walk it back a little bit and try and think of things that lead up to that moment and see if I already wasn’t 100% because something else already had me half-tilted already…
The next time I get triggered by the same thing I can usually see it happening but I am sorta powerless to stop it…which really stinks…but after that its easier to tap the breaks on it and take an off ramp. Sometimes its me having to tell people I need to take a break and I go outside or somewhere else.
So like, whatever you need to do to make life work for you is ok. Choosing not to want to go out is a choice and one I usually make myself. I work a 40 hour a week job and have to do shopping, but otherwise I don’t really leave the house and honestly its a lonely life, but its what I choose because I like it better than the other options. - its nothing to be ashamed of. - its nothing to beat myself up over
Whatever you end up choosing to live your life the way you want is ok, but life is short and Its worth trying to find a way to be happy and get as much out of it as you want. I know it seems like we should all just know how to do…whatever in life…but most stuff is like learning a skill…it takes practice and we suck at first.
Sometimes like regular life stuff like making small talk or flirting on purpose or enjoying the company of people in general (all examples of me personally and not trying to project on you).
Good luck, take care of yourself.