Gosh, I don’t want to deal with my ex in class. Plus, I can’t forget what he’s done to me. Again- he went behind my back, and I do not think I want to be his friend again.
I care about him, but he shouldn’t take me for granted. Or use me.
Ever since his mom has given me an ultimatum, I just want to stay as far away from him as I can. I know that I can’t avoid him during classes. He is in 1 of my classes. But again, if I have a class with him, there is no way I can avoid him, especially when my teachers are around. I guess I just have to deal with it, because there will be a lot of different assignments that includes working in groups.
Again, I do care about that boy, but that doesn’t mean he should go behind my back and talk a lot of crap.
I mean, we do have a lot of opinions and differences. But going behind someone else’s back and talking about them isn’t going to work. (Same as bullying, fighting, etc.)
School is supposed to be a safe and secured environment for students to flourish and grow into strong and independent people. Not bullying and going behind backs.
I try to help others in need of help, if I see someone being bullied. (I know this isn’t really what the title is talking about) but I do think that others should know this about me.
It sounds like you need to set definite boundaries. For example, explain that you don’t want to discuss anything that doesn’t have to do with class assignments. Tell your teacher that you don’t want to be in a group with him, because working closely with him would be a problem.
That’s beyond your control, but you could mention your concern and perhaps history with regard to that to your teacher.
how people act is a reflection of them, not yours.
how you react to that, is your karma. set boundaries for yourself. talk only in class, about class.
speak with your teachers or classmates about that.
and stay away from people like that. in the end, the one who suffers because of that, is you. he will not give a
s***. he talks behind your back bad things about you, that says a lot about a character of someone.
i would not want to be friends with someone like that. it is hard, especially after a breakup.
take care of yourself, that is most important. you are most important !
I would venture to say that a LOT of people have been in your position.
There will be other times in your life where this will happen. It’s time to start practicing the fine art of emotional detachment or not giving a you know what. This way, his actions won’t bother you or make you feel awkward. You try to see him as another classmate that you don’t have any emotions for either way and try to control your reactions the best you can to anything he does.
This kind of “cognitive reframing” (learned that in therapy lol) can be really good in situations where you have little to no control over.
Hey, thank you for sharing. When we cannot avoid people, it sometimes helps to remain totally neutral - not being friendly, but not being rude or even ignoring them, either. This way, people can share space in peace before parting - without having to look back.
Thanks for the update and for discussing this further. Ultimately, you get to decide who your friends are and, if this isn’t working out, it’s okay not to be friends with him. There’s nothing wrong with caring about someone, even if you don’t personally wish to interact with them.
You’re also completely right in saying that talking behind a friend’s back does cross “the line”. It can be so upsetting when people don’t show you the respect you deserve!
I’m glad that you step in to help others when you see poor conduct, and I agree with Manni – trying to actively “fight” them won’t help either of you so sometimes the best option is to remain neutral in class with them.
I think you’ve got a good strong head on your shoulders since you’ve already set nice boundaries in place.
I know it’s hard having to have someone like that in your classes, but you already got a good headspace to be cordial and calm/collective— and to treat him as a classmate and nothing more. I believe you’ll be able to finish the year with this being just a small stone in your lake.