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Exhausted with Everything

So I know it’s been a while and trust me, it’s not due to a lack of problems. I’ve just been so busy even though I am no longer working. I’ve been working to get on disability which I have been denied for and will try to appeal. My children has been exhausting me to my fullest. I’ve been drinking and it’s because I learned to trust myself with it. Several family members and friends stated that they do not believe me to be an alcoholic and that they know I am more afraid of becoming one. Whenever I do have the fear again, I stop myself from drinking.

I’m just so tired of dealing with my mental health especially knowing that it is indefinite and there is no cure. I tire of trying to remember my meds, tire of adjustments, and tire of speaking to my therapist. This is no fault of her own, it’s just me. I’m sick of it and often have nights full of tears because I sometimes wish to die, but know that if I did, my children would be the first to find me. That’s not fair to them. I just don’t feel like doing life anymore.

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From: Rohini_868

Hi there grandmastrqueen!

I am so glad that you are here sharing your thoughts with us. It sounds like it’s been a long journey so far and I’m glad you’re here with us!

I see that you’re trying to cope with these bigs stresses with alcohol, and trying to be as responsible as you can with it, to fall into the addiction trap. I’m glad you have a therapist you’re working with. Adjustments to meds can be a long process to get just the right dose, but it’s worth it.

What does your self-care look like? Your hobbies? What do you do to take care of you, while you’re taking care of those precious kiddos? We’re here to listen to you, and to support you through this. Life is worth the fight friend, YOU are worth the fight. We love you, thank you for being with us.

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From: Dr Hogarth

Hi grandmastrqueen,

I’m so happy you reached out here. What you’ve been going through sounds exhausting and I’m so sorry you’ve been denied for disability allowance; going through the appeal process sounds like the last thing you need in your life right now.

I obviously don’t know what your relationship with alcohol is like, but I think that the fact you fear becoming an alcoholic is a sign that you care about yourself, about your kids, that there’s something you feel is worth fighting for. I can tell what a difficult struggle this is from what you said, but you’re not defeated.

You mentioned having some friends around you. Is it possible for you to ask for some support? I feel like removing some pressure from your shoulders would help. Perhaps also looking for a different therapist if this one isn’t working for you. I went through about 10 therapists before I found one I actually wanted to speak to.

I hope you can get some rest my friend. Keep fighting, you’re worth it x

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From: sea__kay

Hey grandmastrqueen, I’m sorry that you have so much on your plate to deal with and are suffering a lot with your mental health. Do you have any time to yourself at all? Time for self-care, for your own interests, and to relax? I can’t imagine what it must feel like to cope with all that you’re going through, though I’d have a question on your drinking habits. Why do you drink and what does it do for you?
Make sure to reach out enough, to your therapist, friends and family. Here is also a good place to share your thoughts and what’s on your heart. Sending you hugs. You’re loved.

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, grandmastrqueen! Thank you for coming back and sharing this with us. I’m so sorry for how much you have been struggling with life and how tired you are of trying but I hope you keep trying. Let yourself take a rest. I know it can be so tiring to continue trying to improve your life and your mental health but I’m so proud of you for continuing to do so even though you want to just give up. And it’s awesome that you have the self-control to not drink when you worry you are doing it too much. That is an amazing level of self-control when you are struggling.

I hope you manage to find something that can help you feel less tired. And please remember that we are always here :hrtlegolove:

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend I’m sorry that you’re going thru such a hard time. Disability stuff is annoying and stressful. It looks like you’re going to have to get a lawyer, don’t give up! It really helps to have all your doctors involved, so I hope that you’re doing that. I got mine on the first try and in the 15yrs of being on disability, I’ve never had to be re-evaluated, so having my psychiatrist and talk therapist involved was really good. It’s a long process but once you get approved, you’ll get lots of retro money. I think they paid me all the way back from when I first started the process. I wish you luck. ~Mystrose

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From: Mamadien

It sounds like you have been very busy with all that you have going on. I’m glad you reached out again though. Can I say that I think you are a very strong person because you continue to do all that you know to do. Please don’t give up on applying for disability. It often takes more than one time to get approved and it is worth pursuing. Getting as much help from your providers as you can for the disability application can help. Please be gentle with yourself, you are worth it and you are worth caring for you. Please stay in touch.

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hey Friend, thank you so much for your post, your life and you sound absolutely exhausting and for that I am so sorry. Its not fair when so much is piled on to one person and they just don’t get a break. I cannot imagine having to deal with so much at one time but you do and my goodness even though you find it a struggle its amazing what you accomplish, you should be so proud of what you achieve each and every day. I hear you when you talk about needing to have a drink and you fear becoming an alcoholic, I am glad you have that fear as I truly don’t think that would help you especially with the medication you probably take, which makes me think if you have thought about that and maybe if that has an effect on your meds? Its just a thought. I am pleased you have come back to share you worries here as we are here to listen to you, to support you and to care for you. I hope it helps for you to be here and that you stay with us. I understand your tiredness and I truly hope things improve for you my friend. Much love Lisa. x

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From: Dark Weeb 666 (Matt)

Hi @grandmastrqueen You are truly dealing with a lot and you are so very strong for handeling your struggles. First of all I want to encourage you to continue working towards getting on dissability. It is definitely worth trying several times. I would also try to get the backing of your therapist and psychiatrist. It is very important to make a strong case for disability and they can help you with that. When it comes to alcokol I think it is good that you are afraid of becoming an alcoholic. It is also a sign that you are not one, at least not yet. Drinking isnt a good habbit. I think you should think about what could replace it as a good stress reliever. I know you are tired and I know it is exausting. Please tell this to your therapist and try to find a solution together. Whatever meds you are on right now… they are not working very well. There should definitely be a change in medication. I hope things will get better for you @grandmastrqueen. I wish you all the best :heart:

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