I haven’t been on here for too long and it has helped. I was brought to this site from who I thought was a good friend. Needless to say we are not in good terms at the moment. I am liking this and want to do more go to meetings and do some readings/workbooks.
I want to do this for myself and not for this other person but I also don’t want to feel like I am stepping on toes by doing other things with heartsupport/yourlife.
He doesn’t want anything to do with me, be in the same room or be in his life period. He wants to avoid me at all cost but I need the extra help. I am an hour from Lancaster so I can do the extra things to get the help I need I just have mixed feelings about going about it. Please help me!
I just need advice on what to do in regards to him and what else is out there that I am able to do through this program and yourlife? And like I said I am doing it for myself and no one else.
Honestly, I would suggest not giving another thought to the issue. Remain involved in the work here, and don’t let stop you or deter you. If there is help for the friendship or not, leave it off of the site, because nothing is to be gained from it. Not for you, not for them. If this place has helped, and you’re ready to jump in, JUMP! Many hugs, from a messed up and wonderfully crazy newbie!
Thank you so much for being here. It’s awesome to hear that it has been helping you so far. Although I hear you about this tricky situation with your ex-friend. It makes sense to feel like you’re walking on eggshells if you’ve been introduced to this community by him. I’ve been a bit in a similar situation at some point. Someone who I thought was a friend ended up ghosting me and I felt like stepping on toes constantly. I was overanalyzing anything that I would say: woud they interpret that as being about them? Would they be upset to see me talking to others? Would they be frustrated to see me happy? I felt like I was too much and my presence, me being around, was a problem in itself. But I was wrong.
Some relationships end suddenly, and it sucks when one decides for two. It takes away your right to use your voice and make you feel like you don’t really have the right to be around. Feeling like this make sense - you are learning to compose with a new way to be present, one that is not tied anymore to this friendship that you had. However I’d like to really insist about something: even if you are both in the same space but not talking anymore, you are still each following your own journey, and you have both the right to do so.
What HeartSupport provides is for everyone. If you feel like it’s helping you at a personal level, then keep using this resource and keep doing what you want to do. Because this is about you, your life, and your ex-friend is not living it for you. Just like you’re not living their own. You both own the right to be around. And it will be up to each individual to accept that a mark of maturity would be not to interfere in each other’s right to access to the resources they need. Be you, do you, for you, first and foremost. It’s okay. You both have your very own place in this community, whether you talk together or not.
