I remain calm to almost every situation everywhere else but my kids do one little thing and I lose my temper. I give them consequences that don’t fit their actions.
Hi friend, that’s really hard. Um, I have a friend who is under a lot of stress and often because of this they have mentioned that sometimes they get more upset at their kids than they mean to. I think it’s pretty normal if there is any kind of stress or something building up that you naturally over react or react in ways that you don’t mean to. It happens to the best of us. For my friend, they sought out therapy. To help them manage the stress of parenting and figure out why they may be reacting this way.
Do you think maybe something like this could be of help? Having a safe place to just talk about why you may be losing your temper and disciplining them the way you are?
You’re more than welcome to share here if you want to, but I know that these things can be very sensitive and hard to talk about, so if you aren’t comfortable, then I understand. But know that if you want to talk about it, it is okay
It’s gotta suck to feel like an allstar everywhere except where it matters most to you…it’s such a polarizing experience to feel gravity drawing you to places outside of your home because of the praise and positive reinforcement, and then to feel like this quiet insecurity telling you that you don’t deserve to be a father, you aren’t enough for your kids…It’s hard to fight the shame, to be present, to overcome regret when you outburst, and more importantly to not try to parent from a place of “I’m not enough”, whether that’s trying to overcompensate in being “awesome dad” but from a place of “I owe it to you because I blew it”. This is all super relatable, and you’re not alone in these fears about your parenting. I am a parent myself and wrestle believing I am enough, feeling the pressure of time as it ticks by and finding myself still not the dad I hoped to be…feeling that weight as time continues forward, and my mistakes do not cease. I am not sure why perfection can’t be achieved, but it can’t, and so we have to believe there is another way. That there is beauty in our fialures, that our childrens pain is part of their journey. There is hope yet for them, and we are not the only piece of their story. Your heart is good, and your love is evident. They will be ok, and you are enough, in all your imperfections, to father them with what you have, as you are.