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Family issues, work, and a little bit of loneliness


#1

Hello everyone, sorry for being absent for the past few days but I got a new job (which I like a lot honestly) and I’ve been working and studying nonstop. I feel pretty tired right now and I’m also pretty scared of the next few weeks as I’m going to have a lot of exams and stuff.

Unfortunately, home doesn’t help. I’m 21 and I’ve been always living with my parents, but now that I’m a university student I live in another town to attend classes. I still have to spend some days at home, but I can’t stand the situation anymore. My father doesn’t care about anything or anyone but himself, and my mother is sick again because of that, and she’s always yelling at everyone for every stupid thing that happens. This annoys me a lot because it’s nearly impossible to live in the same house (I always keep myself out of their arguments but I’m still under their same roof), and it’s also pretty disturbing as I’m scared I’m gonna do the same as my father when I grow up. And I don’t want to be like him, honestly.

Work is pretty good, if we’re talking about my new job at least. It’s fun, rewarding and I also ended up being the best employee. Unfortunately, my other “job” is not working out as intended. I’ve been working as a social media marketer for more than a year, but lately I’ve been creative stuck and I can’t get out of this block. I came up with a pretty good idea last night: I talked to a friend and she said it’s a pretty neat one, but I need to start over to actually get it to work out. I feel sad because I invested a lot of time and work into this and it’s all falling apart slowly. Luckily, school is going great: I got my first 30 (the highest grade), but i feel overwhelmed by the gigantic amount of work that I need to do.

Social life is…well, meh. I barely go out as I don’t have a lot of time, but when I do, I have no one to spend my time with. I’ve always hang out by myself, but it’s starting to get pretty boring and I can’t find anyone to have a drink with. I wish I had more closer friends, Christmas and New Year are approaching and I still don’t know what to do. Also, I can’t fall in love with anyone. I can’t find a girl that interests me, they all look boring and they all sound boring as hell. A friend said that I’m too much for anyone around here but I’m tired to feel this alone.

Sorry for the long post but I needed to let these thoughts out. As you might have told, I don’t know how to talk about this with, and if I did, they would just tell me “it be like that sometimes”.

Have a great day

Pioggia :sunflower:


#2

We all feel this way, but don’t take it at face value. I believe everyone has their own truth so if that is true then everyone experiences loneliness and depression differently as well as other aspects of life.

Does this mean we can’t empathize, sympathize or understand? Not at all. It also means that our experiences differ.

Don’t settle. Work Hard. Any goal worth achieving takes work (even though in some cases and with some people it may not seem like work).


#3

Hey Pioggia,

Thanks so much for the update. Sounds like things, while on the whole are a challenge, are still progressing, and that’s really cool. Even though school is a lot of work, it seems like you’ve been managing well and scoring well too – good work, man! Also, having work be “rewarding and fun” is SO dope…because you need to work, and if you’re wanting to get out of the influence of your parents, it’s perfect that your source of money is something that you’re enjoying. Especially getting recognized by your bosses as the best employee…this is all great news!! It sucks that your creative pursuit is screeching to a halt, that you’re still in the negative influence of your parents, and don’t have many people to go out with or pursue romantically…but the thing that I’m largely hopeful for in your life is that it seems you don’t shy away from doing the work to make your situation better – even though your creative pursuit isn’t working out, you have put a lot of work into it, you put a lot of work into school, you had to put a lot of work to find this job, and you had to put a lot of work to become the best employee…a lot of the times it can be difficult when someone is stagnant in their life to get momentum going and to start making change…but you ARE making change, and you ARE in motion, you have MOMENTUM…these are great things dude! I think it might help for you to hear: you are doing well, and I’m proud of you! For those bits of your life that are dissatisfying you, I’d recommend you rank them…which one do you want to change first, second, third, etc? And once you make the list, start with the first one, and give yourself permission to focus on that exclusively. If it’s getting out of your parents’ house, then give yourself the grace to not be bummed about the other things or give them too much thought. We are most effective when we’re solving one problem at a time, and you make shit happen, so just funnel your focus towards the next thing that bothers you most. Other than that, man, you’re really doing better than you might think. :wink: Thanks again for the update!!

-Nate


#4

Thanks to everyone replying! Sorry for the late reply but I’ve been really busy…
I’ve come up with a fresh new idea for my Instagram so I’m pretty happy, I just need to put it into work…everything else is going as usual, I’m pretty scared about Christmas approaching as it’s the first time I’m spending it alone, and I’m missing my ex as hell. I hope everything’s gonna be alright

Thanks to everyone again - you really cheered me up!


#5

Christmas alone could be really beautiful too. If you’re anxious about it, maybe you could create a plan to help yourself when that time comes? Now that you have a few weeks to develop that plan, you could add stuff to the list like…

I want to go ice skating by myself
or see a movie by myself
or reach out to a friend and see if they would want to get drinks with me that night
or I want to watch a christmas show in front of a fire
or I want to go out to walmart and buy myself a gift
or whatever, right? the point is – you can plan so that you’re ready for it and so that you can actually enjoy that day as opposed to just letting it drag you in the undertow of quiet sadness.

What would make your first Christmas alone awesome?


#6

I WANT TO PASS ALL MY EXAMS! :joy::joy:

Jokes apart, that idea is pretty neat. Making a list while going home tonight