Father Struggling with Depression and Anxiety

Not sure exactly where to start, other than to say I am having a rough time lately. I strongly regret having a kid and it’s really hard to cope with. My child is almost two now, and right after her birth I struggled mentally until she was about 6 months old, at which point I kinda adapted.

Lately I feel like I did during those first 6 months. My daily life just feels like a grind, I don’t even want to come home from work some days. Everything is just so much harder and I have no motivation to do pretty much anything, much less the energy by the time my kid gets to sleep.

I mostly had a kid for my wife, and I kinda figured I would adapt and it would be ok, which was true for a solid year.

For context, I do personal therapy and I’m on Prozac. My dose just got doubled but hasn’t taken affect yet. My wife and I also do couples counseling and our counselor says we are doing pretty damn good. I believe that, but I still struggle internally. Lately it’s so persistent, cynical, nilistic.

I’m just tired and want to give up on any personal ambition whatsoever. I have ADHD and constantly think about anything and everything. Thus the anxiety, which has been rather constant lately.

I’m just not sure what to do with myself to be honest.

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I think tweaking the meds till they help will lead to improvement in your mental state. Maybe the Prozac will make a much needed improvement, but if it doesn’t, other options are available.

It sounds like your daily routine has become tedious, and you’re bored. What do you do for fun? A two year old will wear anyone out, but they also can be a lot of fun. It’s quite human to have times when a child feels like too much of a burden. However, playing with him and strengthening the emotional connection will help it feel like less of a burden, and more like a fulfilling experience.

Feeling down at this time doesn’t mean you’ll continue feeling that way. If the medication doesn’t seem to be helping, let your doctor know sooner rather than later.

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Thanks for the response @Wings.

I am actually feeling a lot better today, thankfully. I had a good conversation with a friend that helped me pivot my negative spiral. Yesterday went much better, and I didnt feel as though I was constantly dreading my next step. Hoping that the Prozac dosage change will also help more.

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Hey Chance,

I think that there are plenty of people that can understand what you are feeling in this post. One of the first things that came to mind after reading your post, we are our own worst critics. Even when someone tells us that we are doing well, we second guess it & try to come up with excuses to excuse it away.

Take it one day at a time. Find joy in every day that you encounter. It might be a challenge in the beginning, but I believe that you can conquer the things that are currently overwhelming you. Life can have its moments that seem to be too much, but life can also bring encouragement in the moments that we least expect it. You got this. I believe in you.

You are strong. You are valid. You are enough. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: twixremix

what’s up chance,

welcome back to the heartsupport forum, my friend, thank you for being here and sharing what you’re going through. i’m also thankful that you are doing a lot better today based on your reply to the wonderful wings. i have high hopes in your prozac dosage and the guidance from both your personal therapist and your couples counselor. i’m also really thankful that you can be vulnerable about what you’re experiencing because a hard truth is that parenting isn’t all smiles and rainbows like social media leads people to believe when they post kid updates. i am glad that your child has you in her life though… someone to be open and honest with even when ambition is at an all time low. i know you will guide her to be aware of her feelings, know boundaries, and care for one another as she continues to grow. but in the meantime, you can’t reach that point with her until you take care of yourself so keep taking those steps forward, my friend. i believe in you to care for your mind, heart, anxious feelings, and to then focus on those around you. you got this, i believe in YOU!

love,
twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, chancesampson91, and welcome back to the community! I’m sorry that you are struggling so much with parenthood and your feelings of regret.

Parenthood is a rollercoaster. I feel like every parent goes through periods of hating it and loving it. Right now you are in a moment of hating it. From what I’ve seen in my friends and family with children that something will happen to make you feel good about it again, at least for a time. I’m glad you are feeling a bit better than you were when you first posted this and that you have a friend you are able to talk to about these things.

I watch a comedy special recently that cracked me up and I think maybe you will relate to it a lot. It is Mike Birbiglia: The New One and it is on Netflix. He talks about becoming a father and how he never wanted kids. It’s brilliant. I hope you watch it and it brings a little laughter to your life.

Good luck with your journey and I hope you continuing coming and sharing with us whenever you feel like it. Stay strong :hrtlegolove:

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Hey ChanceSampson,

I am sorry to hear that you’re having a rough time right now. I can understand the exhaustion and drain that comes with massive responsibility (And I assume some sleepless nights). It’s OK to feel worn down and exhausted in times like this. Especially as you are trying to put effort and energy into your own journey while also raising such a young child. Take each day as it comes, and do your best. Each day will add up to something bigger :slight_smile:

I am glad that you are doing better today, and that you’re able to work with your therapist to adjust medications and treatments. It takes time to adjust to new treatment, and I’m glad you seem to reacting well.

You got this, friend :hrtlovefist:

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