Fear Controls Me

Over the last few months I’ve been realizing that my anxiety is a lot stronger than I thought. It’s like any time I make a decision, I only choose an option because I’m afraid of the other one. Getting into relationships quickly because I’m too afraid to be alone, not having many close friends because I fear what they would think of me if I showed them my true self (Working hard on that one especially), etc. I’m on edge almost all the time and I never seem to find any true peace or rest even though that’s what I’m chasing after. The amount of sleep I get has faded into barely any at all as I spend most nights just on my computer or my xbox blasting music or whatever, though whenever I try to lay down and put my mind at ease to sleep I’m always just racing around my brain worrying about what trials life is going to throw at me next. Anxiety is crippling my mental state slowly. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with all of this and was just wondering if anyone could relate. Thanks.

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Hey Jaden,

Thank you so much for being here and sharing this with us. It sounds like you’re exhausted from all the anxiety you’ve been experiencing. I know just how overwhelming and tiring it is. I struggle with anxiety myself and it is so hard to be so tired but not be able to sleep because your mind keeps racing. Specifically, with trying to sleep, I really find it helpful to do breathing exercises when my mind is racing and it eventually helps me calm down enough to be able to sleep. Maybe that could be helpful if it’s something you haven’t tried yet? I also want you to know how strong you are for working through these struggles and striving to help yourself. That is no easy task and takes so much courage. It’s a process, but I know you will make it through this. We believe in you and know you can win this fight!

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes

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Hey Jaden,

First I want to say I’m glad that you’ve joined the discord. I really enjoy talking with you in discord some, and seeing you actively part of the community. You are so loved here, and you’re wanted, valued and important.

I would encourage you to listen to this song, as I’ve struggled with letting fear control me, especially my fear of the unknown. It’s called “Fear is a Liar” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQTnREEtuNk I listen to this song a lot, when I’m struggling, cause man it’s hard to deal with fear, because there’s no way to just not be afraid.

I would say recently for me, I’ve found comfort in God when I’m afraid. Isiah 41:10 says this, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -NIV That has been my prayer, that I will find peace and comfort in Him.

With relationships, my friend that is so hard. As I’ve distanced myself from my abusive ex, I’ve realized how much I wasn’t in love with him towards the end, but was rather in love with the idea of him, and loving the concept of not being alone. It’s hard but I just want to remind you that you are not alone, even when you feel alone. You are loved by this community, and by so many, and we will always be here for you, and here to stand beside you through your struggles, because you are loved, and you are worth it!

Hold Fast, You’re Worth It,
Monkey

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Worrying is the number one trigger of fear or anxiety. It contributes to depression, worthlessness, hopelessness & Helplessness. It tags alongside loneliness.

It is more a problem than what most people think.

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Hey @Jaden

I’m Hannah, one of the interns at HeartSupport. Thank you so much for sharing this, and thank you for being part of this community.

I’m so sorry to hear that your anxiety is disrupting your daily life so much. I completely know how that feels and can absolutely relate. I know that it can be so very exhausting and then lack of rest and sleep just makes your anxiety worse and it can seem like a never ending cycle. One thing that really helped me was seeing a therapist about my anxiety because it was effecting my daily life so badly, she helped me for new/better coping habits. Like @Hannah2911said, different breathing techniques are really good, also there are a lot different things called “grounding techniques” that help to focus your mind and calm your thoughts. One example of grounding is naming 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. Because it engages all five senses it makes you focus on that alone, I find it really helpful. Other things that could help would be listening to calming music or reading a book. When I’m anxious I try to stay away from screen time, i.e. video games, my phone, Netflix, etc… I find that scrolling through social media or just staring at a screen doesn’t really help my anxiety.

I hope this helps a little. And I hope you know that you’re so very strong, anxiety sucks and it can be really hard to fight. But I am so proud of you for reaching out. We, in this community, are always here to help you and support you in whatever ways we can.

Hold fast,

  • Hannah Presley
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@Jaden,

Thank you for being transparent and for sharing your story. It takes a lot fo courage and strength to be vulnerable and share.

This hits close to home as I have struggled with this recently. Sometimes I feel crippled in fear and it effects my sleep and functionality. I completely understand what you are going through. What has helped me in finding my foundation and hope in something greater which is only found in God. I keep telling myself and believing that God has never left me without provision and believing in that truth reminds me that I am going to be alright. It also reminds me that I have a lot to give. For me, it truly does come down to pleasing others and being crippled by the effects of my actions pleasing those around me. I had to fight this for quite some time and am still a work in progress, but am slowly progressing.

Continue to fight for hope and continue to fight for strength. You can do this!

-L

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Jaden ,
I can relate to this so much! Sleeping is hard unless I’m watching TV because my brain wont shut off. I feel like I’m just sitting around waiting for the next thing to happen but never being able to enjoy any of it because I’m always worried about the next thing and feeling lonely. I know what you mean and I’m sorry you feel this way, it really sucks. I dont know how to get out of it but we are here for you!
Holly

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You have insta?
Psn?
We can talk
I can relate I ddI this most of my days last years