Fear loneliness depression

I think for the first time in my life I feel really lonely. It seems like no one wants to do anything with me anymore. People ghosting me and i can not find a relationship.

I have moved around so much growing up and never built a stable life. By the time we were settled in one country it seemed that I lost the ability to form relationships and to keep them.

Substance abuse came in later and just made things worst. Now I feel like I am so alone and no matter what I do I just cant live a normal life like most people. You know like have friends and a girlfriend or at least people in my life (besides my parents) but my parents can’t be around forever and I am so terrified to remain alone and even worst die a drunk.

I dont know why I am writing this or even if this forum will help but I am so desperately feeling lonely and depressed I do not know what else to do


Hi Lonstar,
welcome to Heart Support. Thank you a lot for reaching out and sharing with us.
when you speak of abuse with substance, i hope you considered a therapy for it or a self help group ?
this can lead to a much more deep phase, when you can’t control it. reach out for help there.
our crisis resources could be a help for you, give it a try or a look.

i feel so sorry to hear all of that, the moving in your life, never settled in somewhere. so i can see why feel that way
and i can relate to. i was not moving around, but i live away from my parents, with very few to none friends over
the last years. so the feel of being alone, was getting over to feeling lonely, what is a huge difference.
i like spending time alone, i am good spending time alone, but lately, most of the time this year i realised that i felt
lonely a lot. more and more, my hole where i was sitting in, i digged deeper and deeper.
i was, and i am seeking help in a therapy and also besides that, friends and family are supporting me. i found a
friend, maybe my best right now, where i did not searched in.
when you really feel alone and lonely, have you tried new things that you find interesting ? going out ? for a walk
maybe, or some communities in your area that might interest you ?
you are not alone in this. you might not see all those things around, but they are there. true friends are waiting for
you, also a partner. i also wait for the right one. life is often too hard to us, too much of a bullshit that we don’t see
the beauty that surrounds us.
your parents love you, you are loved. take your time and do small steps in the right direction. with activities and
things that you do, what you love to do, you will boost your thinking, your mind and then also your feelings.
don’t do too much, don’t pressure yourself, you, and only you decide the pace you are going in life.
you are worth of that all. you are worth of all the good things that are out there. life is blooming and beautiful, if
you want it to be. you are beautiful the way you are my friend. feel hugged and have a wonderful day :purple_heart:

Hey Lonstar,

Growing up I was in the same boat. I moved around a lot, didn’t have friends or even a true girlfriend until I was 20-21. You get in this shell that only gets more layers added on and it gets harder to break out of, but it’s definitely breakable. What are your passions? Maybe try and find people that have those same common interests or passions. For me it’s been music. If I would go to a concert or festival (which a lot of times I did by myself) I’d find FB groups of the show and just interact. I did that for Knotfest Iowa 2021 and I met so many cool people that I still talk to to this day.

Hi there!! It’s great that you reached out to us. You’ve got some really great suggestions in the posts above and I hope you give them a good try. But today is hard and you can’t change your situation like snapping your fingers!! I just want you to know it’s not always going to be like this. I had horrendous holidays after my divorce. I’d just go to bed and try to forget it was thanksgiving or Christmas. But my children are grown now and we spend our holidays together!! This is a really wonderful Christmas!! And now that those hard years have passed I just don’t hurt anymore. The trick to finding happiness often turns out to be living long enough that you can look back and see how all the pieces fit.

I pray for you that you will get through this day and persist until your life is full of love and joy. You’re not really alone so long as you keep reaching out.
God bless