I have been single for more than 8 years. I am 33 years old, and only had 2 girlfriends since I was 19. Both girls I dated for less than 6 months. The second one lived 3 hours away so I only saw her like a day and a half on the weekends. I tried to make myself love her, going as far as picking out engagement rings. But eventually she told me she wasn’t happy and I wasn’t gonna force her to be unhappy at my expense.
My biggest desire is to be a husband and father. I have continually gained weight over the years, to the point I am very close to double what I was i when I was 19. I feel I have no support for anyone, including my family. My best friends are people I probably will never meet that I have met over the internet.
I don’t know that happiness is what I’m looking for, I know God doesn’t always call us to be happy but to find joy in him. And thats another thing, I have taken it out on my relationship with God. I feel like he is punishing me for disobedience or something from sexual sin. Porn, occasional hook up, if you want to call it that… I just feel alone and IDK what to do from here.
Sounds like you are in a really tough spot man. Sorry to hear that.
It sounds like you are really struggling with finding and building relationships in general. I’m curious if you have any interests that you can find groups to meet up with that align with your interests. What are some of your hobbies? Is there anything that gets you really fired up and excited to talk about?
yeah IDK… not much really. I have tried to get out and do new things… Its hard to find stuff to do alone… which is exactly the opposite of what I need.
@Squirrel I am sorry you are struggling with this. It’s so hard feeling alone. I am 32 years old. Before I met my wife back when I was 27, I was feeling that same way. I just felt so depressed, like there was something wrong with me, because I couldn’t hold down a relationship or many friendships. That stuff is hard. I get it, especially on top of the daily battle of depression and anxiety.
All I can say is be prepared for the unexpected. I met my wife at a time I didn’t think I would ever meet a good woman who would truly care for me, depression/pain/anxiety and all. When I least expected it, she came into my life. We struggled for months on end in many areas but I can say that she is my rock now. It’s been a tough road and we have struggled immensely but it’s made us closer in many areas, especially faith.
Keep your faith in God. God loves you, no matter what. It’s why Jesus lovingly died on the cross for us. You recognize that you want companionship and you recognize you love God. There is no way that He won’t send someone to you who will provide you with unconditional love and support. I believe it will happen for you.
Stay strong my friend!
@Squirrel I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m in the same boat, though. Haven’t been in a relationship in 9 years, had one date each with two different people since then.
I think the key is to work on yourself, work on preparing yourself to be the best man and the best husband you can be, and not worry about finding a relationship. It seems like all the best relationships happen when you’re not looking for it.