Feel Like Doing Serious Harm TW Drug Mention/Self Harm

My boyfriend and my friend are away for 2 weeks and my dad is out of the house. Whenever I become alone i get more and more depressed until i want to hurt myself. I realized how unhappy i am and that i’m just making myself busy so i dont have to think about anything. When i have nothing to do i get super fidgety and bored. The boredom/depression makes me want to do things like drugs (shrooms, weed) that i haven’t done before or go back into cutting. I have been clean of cutting since i was 19? i think. I only want to do things that will only make my mental state worse instead of help it. Since i have a lot of mental health issues i know that shrooms would only make it worse, and cutting would make me feel worse. I don’t know why this happens but it happens a lot. I don’t have a plan of suicide or anything but it comes up a lot too. The little things start to not work as well anymore. I can’t really find anything to make me happy or not bored

5 Likes

Hello foobie.
Boredom can be a great fuel for depression, especially if we suffer from anhedonia. It can lead to us just laying down and thinking all of those depressing thoughts, trying to silence them, trying to get out of that boredom numb state with self harm or drugs and being hurt even more then before. The things like drugs and self harm wount make you feel better, you have said it yourself. It will just make things worse. Tell me what kind of things do you do whenyou want to have fun. What kind of things did you used to enjoy? Are there things that you always wanted to try but havent (that arent drugs :upside_down_face:)? Try to focus on these things. Try to keep in contact with the people you care about. Text them or call them. It doesnt matter. Just so you know they are there. I also think you should seek the help of a therapist. They can help you cope with the things you have described and guide you. Hang in there foobie. You can get through this this :slightly_smiling_face:

PS. here is a video that I think might help Why Don't You Enjoy Anything? (anhedonia) - YouTube

1 Like

I still do the the things i like it’s just that i can’t focus on it and i get bored of them easily. i can’t really find anything that keeps me satisfied

2 Likes

Hey Foobie, how are you doing?
Just wanted to check in with you. Have you managed to find something to keep you busy? I hope you are doing ok and want to let you know you are loved and being thought about.
I did wonder if it might be an idea to google some coping strategies for when you do find youself alone and your mind starts to move towards wanting to cut. There are so many videos on youtube which are interesting and useful, you could take time and learn all at once?
Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x

1 Like

I am doing about the same. I have just been doing what I usually do, watch videos or something. I just really need someone to hug me in person. It’s becoming unbearable

2 Likes

This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.