the worst part is that my life doesn’t suck. that i know its getting better - im making friends at school, i have an s.o. who supports me through everything, my relationship with my parents is getting better, im finally on depression meds, and im going to therapy and shes really good. and i know when i wake up tomorrow ill look back on this post and think wow i was having a bad night. but right now i feel like everything sucks. i feel like a burden financially to my parents with all my medical bills and going to college. i feel like a burden to the people around me because im depressed. i know deep down i don’t actually want to die or relapse but i can’t help thinking of it. i even feel guilty for reaching out here. im hoping this is a bump in the road but im scared im going to fall into an abyss instead of a puddle. i want help but i want to cut everyone off and go back there and it feels terrible. i feel terrible.
current soundtrack: hide and seek by imogen heap, borderline by tove styrke