Feel Lost

Unfortunately, my grandparents have told me that they are cutting me off from their life. I am really close to them. Now I feel like I’m lost. I hurt so bad I don’t know what to do. It’s like I just lost a part of me. I almost did something I would’ve regretted. And I am struggling so bad. I feel like I was abandoned. I really needed them at this time because I am finally standing up and trying to get my dad convicted for abusing me. They are Jehovah’s Witnesses and they are cutting me off from their lives because I am no longer a Jehovah’s Witness and don’t want to go back. I hate myself so much it’s unreal. I know I have my fiance and his family to try to get me through it all but sometimes my depression keeps telling me I’m all alone. I don’t know what to do. I could really use some support right now to get through this and to help me stay strong in convicting my dad.


Hey JourdB, You are not alone friend I promise you. I am so so sorry that your grandparents have decided to take such a drastic, heartbreaking and bad decision to their grandchild out of their life. The decision that you have made to stand up for yourself, to hold your father accountable for what he did to you is a strong and amazing decision and one that was never going to be easy but the people who are the rest of your family are supposed to support you, I understand they probably in a difficult situation with both being family but that does not excuse you being treated this way. Jourd you have absolutely no reason to be anything but proud of yourself for the strength that you are showing and I am so proud of you that you have written here instead of going down a path that would have taken you to a place that there was no coming back from. You are not alone, you are never alone, we are all, always here for you, we love you and we have your back. Do you have anyone there who is available to you at all? a friends parent or even your Doctor? I just wonder if you had someone who was there with you as well as us online? I hope so.
Post as often as you need to, if you feel at crisis point please reach out to the crisis line but we are here. again you are not alone, you are loved and you are wanted. Much love Lisa. xx


I have my fiance and his family who are helping me through it. I have a few friends but all of them live in different places away from where I live. I’m working on getting a psychiatrist at the moment. And thank you for your support. It means a lot. I’m doing my best to keep going and not let my depression lead me in the wrong direction.


Hi @JourdB

I am so proud of you. You are clearly a strong person because you are making good decisions for your life regarding what you believe and what you will stand for. Stay strong.
Be kind and loving to yourself with your thoughts and words. I know it’s hard, but please do try.
I am so sorry for what you have been through and what you are going through. Again and I am so proud of you for taking a stand and for choosing a path in life that is mentally and physically healthier for you.
Keep strong and go through with this conviction of your Dad. Look at what an inspiration you are to others. They will look at how you stood up and said no to abuse. Just think of how much other lives have the potential to change and be saved by your decision. Your decision is giving others in the same abusive situation a life line, a hope and strength they need.

Depression can be so suffocating. Do what you can that is healthy to give your heart and mind a break to just breathe and reset. Does listening to music help?

I once heard and can relate to this that depression is anger turned inward. Give it some thought from a different perspective. What do you think?

Why are your hating yourself? It’s ok to love yourself and to not want to be harmed anymore. It’s ok to say stop and no more. How long have you be feeling this way and in this situation? You must be feeling so overwhelmed with everything.

Does your fiancé know how depressed you are feeling? I am so sorry you feel alone. I am genuinely here for you. I understand depression all too well. Please do not bring harm to yourself. You deserve to live and be loved. Your story deserves to be told and your heart deserves to heal.

I am so sorry for how your grandparents have treated you. It’s never easy standing up for what is right.

Think of what you can do to distract yourself and keep yourself busy while you go through this tough time. What helps you feel better? Being with nature, going for a walk or run? Drawing, writing poetry? Do you write a journal?
Do you work or are you studying? Or are you alone at home while others are busy?

Let’s get you feeling better and stronger. You can do this. I believe in you. I know it’s so hard and it’s feeling so dark but let’s look for the light together.

Write somewhere that you can see it everyday “this too shall pass”. Because it will. The storms eventually end and the birds come out and sing and the flowers will grow.

You got this. You can get through this. You are a survivor.

Much love and hugs


It sounds like you are really close to who you wish they were, rather than who they actually are.

The part you lost was a false perception about your grandparents. I think you expected them to love you unconditionally, and are now grieving the loss of that belief. They are cutting you off because they don’t agree with you.

Don’t hate yourself for growing closer to the truth and the Divine. I admire your courage for breaking away from that cult called “Jehovah’s Witnesses.” Don’t hate your grandparents either. Just consider them to be brainwashed. I am really glad that your fiancé and family are there to support you.

I tell my fiance about how I feel all the time. We communicate really well. I just moved in with my fiance about a year ago. I love listening to music and I am an artist and it helps. I blame myself for it because I have been blamed by my family my whole life for the abuse. I’m slowly working through it with the help of my fiance and trying to get a psychologist. I stay at home while my fiance works because I am unable to work sadly.

1 Like

Hi @JourdB

Thanks for the reply. I appreciate it.

It’s so good you can speak to your fiancé about how you feel and that he supports and takes care of you. It’s very special.

Ooh art. I love art. What do you do? Paint or draw?

I understand it’s hard. But it’s not your fault. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused in anyway. You’re going to get through this. You’re strong.

Are you looking for the psychologist or is your fiancé? Really hope you find one soon. They do definitely have their place in this world and it’s so good to have a safe space to speak.

Why are you unable to work if I may ask?

I know a little about JW. How do you feel now that you are free to experience life more? Are you going to celebrate Christmas? Are you looking forward to celebrating your birthday?

What do you do with your artwork? Do you sell it? I would love to see it.

What are your favourite bands?

Do you have a pet? They are so good for companionship.

How did you meet your fiancé?

Do you have friends that visit?

Stay strong. Take care of yourself and get plenty of sunshine. It’s so good for the soul, the body and mind. Do you get enough rest and do you eat well?

Chat soon.

Much love and hugs.

I paint and draw and use a variety of mediums to do my artwork. I’m looking for the psychologist. I can’t work because I have a lot of health problems that have made it extremely difficult for me to even get through each day. I’m super excited to experience life a lot more. It makes me really happy that I get to celebrate holidays with my fiance and his family. I do sell and give away my artwork most times. I like a lot of pop and punk rock music. I don’t really have a favorite band unless it is Twenty One Pilots. I have a heeler/bully mix. Her name is Lily Rae. I unfortunately don’t have any friends that visit because they all live out of state. I unfortunately don’t rest or eat well because of the health problems I have. I am going to lots of doctors to at least make my life livable.


Hi @JourdB

Hope you are having a good weekend. I watched Avatar 2 and it was pretty cool. Do you like movies or series?
I am sorry you have a lot of health issues. Are you comfortable to talk about it?
I am so happy for you that you have the choice and freedom to experience life more.
How do you sell your artwork? Are you able to send me pics of it?
I have a Boston Terrier called Maximus. He crazy but adorable and wants to play all day lol.
The friends that can’t visit do you at least get to FaceTime them?
I am glad you are able to find doctors that can help you.
I hope you are feeling a bit better.
Much love and hugs

I love watching movies and tv series. Me too. I have a lot of stomach, heart, mental, bladder, and uterus problems. Yeah, I sell my artwork and I love it. I will have to see how I can send you some of the pictures I’ve drawn. That’s awesome you have a dog too. I do Facetime them every once in a while. I hope I feel better soon too.

1 Like

Hi @JourdB

Thanks for the reply.

I’m sorry you have a lot of health issues. It’s not easy living unwell. I have health issues too so I understand. Are you on anti-d’s? I believe in medicine. It definitely helps and has its place? Did you manage to find a therapist?
Maybe now that you are out of those terrible situations your body and mind can start to heal.

What are your favourite movies and series? I watched John Wick a few days ago - what a good movie! Have u seen it?

How did you meet your fiancé?

How are things going with the conviction?

You can email me your art if you would like. I don’t know how to send pics on here. I would love to see it.

Do you ever get to go out of the house to the shops or go for a walk because of your health issues?

What did you ask for a Christmas present?

What is your most favourite thing to do ?

Remember you are strong. You are beautiful and you can get through this. See how far you have come. Take one day and one moment at a time.

I hope you feel a bit more supported and hopeful for your future.

Much love and hugs

I’m on anti-depressants and on a lot of other medicines. I haven’t been able to find a therapist yet. Still working on it. I love watching horror and crime shows. I haven’t seen John Wick actually. I met my fiancé on Discord believe it or not. Lol. I’m still working on the conviction. So far, it’s been a long process. For sure I’ll send it to u.

1 Like

I asked for glitter gel pens for Christmas. I’m trying my best but today has been a really rough day.

1 Like

Hi @JourdB
I’m sooo sorry for the late reply.
How are you doing? How was Christmas? Did you get your glitter gel pens? What are you planning to do with them? My daughter draws with pens.
Tell me all about Christmas. I can’t wait to hear.
What are your plans for new years?
Much love and hugs

I forgot to tell u. I watched ‘The worlds most Dangerous game’. Pretty good. Have u seen it?

I also watched a movie with Chris Prat… can’t remember what it’s called but it had aliens. Agg the amount of movies I have watched with aliens. I was like guys that is the last alien movie I am watching lol.

And I have started watching a series called ‘The Perephial’ sorry not sure if I spelt it right. It’s looking pretty good.

I am way to much of a baby to watch horrors. But I did watch a lot of crime series and movies. Have u watched ‘ The Black List’ ?

Much love and hugs

Hey @JourdB

Hope you’re ok.

Much love and hugs