Back to heartsupport

Feel sad all the time and think it's too much for my friends

Guys I need some advice my mental health has not been the greatest lately and I feel like it’s making an impact on not only my everyday life but on my friends too…They always tell me I can turn to them when I need someone to talk to. But when I feel down as much as I do I feel like it gets to be too much for them to be able to handle…I don’t want to be like that but rn it’s really hard to help it and control it…I don’t want to be the person who complains all the time or who is never happy with anything… But at the same time I have had to hold stuff in for so long, and with everything I’ve been through recently I don’t want to have to do that anymore I want to be able to just let it all out without having to worry about if it’s going to affect people or not…I just don’t know what to do at this point…

4 Likes

Maybe you can open up a little bit and tell them to let you know if it’s too much for them to handle. I’ve learn that sometimes there are friends who want to help us, and are sad that we have bottled up things trying to protect them!

It’s hard to open up, I know we can feel guilty that we’re brining all these heavy emotions to them. At the very least, at least they will understand you a little bit more? It’s worth a shot.

Sharing that you need some support is NOT complaining by the way, and you deserve to be heard. We hear you here, and we’ll be here for you always. Maybe your friends can handle it too. Give it a shot, maybe give them an overview at first, then more details once they are willing to share some more.

Good luck,
We got your back either way :slight_smile:

Love, Sita

3 Likes

Hey Sita,

Thank you so much for your reply. I went with ur advice and did open up to my friend alittle bit last night. He wasn’t able to say much bc he was working. But I could tell that he was very concerned about me. He was very supportive and didn’t seem like he was angry at all. He’s even told me if I ever need help that I’m always welcome to reach out to him. Which makes me feel much better. That’s exactly what I need is someone to talk to when I feel the need to vent. Thank u so much for taking the time to read my post! It does mean so much to me

4 Likes

Hi @Andy

Good to see you again, I understand what you are saying, its very hard to know what to do for the best when using friends for a sounding board, of course friends will always be there because that is that friends do but lets be honest here, no one wants to hear someone moan all the time but and it’s a very big but having mental health problems and needing a person to talk to because you are feeling worried, anxious or just in need of getting something out of your head is very different from moaning and complaining. I know a few people that do not have any obvious mental health problems that moan and complain constantly and its very different and highly frustrating, so I don’t personally think you need to worry too much about that. Also, good friends will normally tell the truth, I would tell my friend if I needed a break.

I also have a couple of other ideas of how you can vent. Try journaling as a way of getting your thoughts out, it seems to work for a lot of people, ill send you a link about it. Lastly you also now have a fabulous community here that you can talk to anytime so if you do think your friends need a rest talk to us instead, we are more than happy to listen and talk to you. We value everything about you.

Have a great weekend Andy and please don’t worry, you sound like you have some great friends.
9 JOURNALING TIPS for beginners | how to start journaling for self-improvement + 70 PROMPTS :dizzy: - YouTube

Much Love

Lisa :heart:

3 Likes

Hey @Andy,

Well done for taking the time to reach out to your friend and open up to him. It was really brave of you given your worries prior to this conversation. You can be proud of yourself for that.

Your friend’s reactions is also amazing and I’m so glad for you. It’s so precious to have someone by our side who understands without having to over-explain, and whom we can talk too when we feel like we’ve been bottling up for too long. It sounds like you really have a precious ally right there. Someone who knows you, understands and respects you.

I hope you will keep this step in your heart and in your mind for a long time, and especially whenever you might feel overwhelmed by doubts and fears. Being afraid of burdening the people we love is absolutely understandable. Wanting the best for them is normal. But vulnerability that is shared is actually a beautiful gift of trust. The trust that your friends would understand and never judge you. But also the trust you put in them for knowing their own limits, and being honest with you if something was too much. Something I try to keep in mind when I’m afraid to reach out is this. That I trust the people I love for being honest with me and make healthy decisions for themselves. Somehow, it’s an act of love to not decide for them, but to let them open their arms or set boundaries if that is needed. Overall, to trust their capacity to make fair decisions.

It’s scary to make these kind of connections. But it’s always worth it to try, and always worth it to share our concers too. More often than not, it helps to be honest about how we feel at the moment. As in: “I want to talk to you about this… but I really don’t want to overwhelm you, so can you assure me that if something gets too much you would tell me?”. That way, you can verbalize and set conditions of communications with your friends, one that would remain respectful of everyone’s needs and emotional abilities.

We are so proud of you for taking this scary step! Healing and supportive connections like this one are so worth it once we decide to take a leap. Well done, friend. :hrtlegolove:

2 Likes

yay! glad it went well, and I’m glad I could help!

Glad you came here and trusted us to support you :slight_smile:

1 Like