I um… I never um… used something like this before so I don’t know where to start so I’ll just… keep typing I guess. So recently stuff happened. The website I use for a little bit of social contact has banned me (Long story. Short version yes it was my fault) and I guess… it triggered something in me. Maybe I was using said site to distract from a deep rooted issue which now is being brought to the front. Regardless I’ve been having periods of just…crying. Feeling alone and vunerable and just thinking about over the past few years since dropping out of high school I did nothing with my life. At all. And as a result have no friends I can call up at times like these. I mean it’s so dark I’ve even thought like “hey if I fall asleep tonight and don’t wake up I’d be ok with that.” and even though thankfully I am not tempted to do something rash so at least there is that. I dunno if I am even making sense I guess I… just wanna… feel like maybe there are other people that exist. And some of them just might wanna talk to me. Ya know?
I am sorry you feel this way and your emotions are so valid and heard. I am sorry you feel as though you have no one to talk to but there are many ppl in this community who will listen and talk to you and we want to.
Thank you it’s just… when it gets bad it gets really bad. Like sometimes I think if I go to bed, fall asleep, and just… not wake up then I would be ok with that. I’d never hurt myself but I feel like if there was an option to just stop existing. Like if I could be “Thanos snapped” I’d take it.
@CephalonWolffe
You know, it’s not uncommon to look back at one’s life and find mistakes. It’s a strange time, this pandemic, so to have an event occur, and to reflect on the event, and how it relates to your life seem like a good thing to me.
The tears, the emotions your feeling remind me of loss, and perhaps, in some way that’s what’s going on with you. Reflecting on your past mistakes with emotion, which maybe has not happened before, but now you’re aware, and feeling the loss of
It can be mourning that you’re in, feeling that it could have been different for you… if … but, whatever has happened in the past, is the past. It can never be repeated.
Bad choices can be repeated.
I don’t think too many of us are the person we want to be, most of us are on that journey. The journey starts with being aware, where it goes from there is a choice each makes, nothing is promised, so we face risk and choices.
We can act as a positive force in our life, and the lives of others feeling lost, alone, and vulnerable, which is what happens here in this community. Thanks for reaching out. Peace
I want to talk to you. 
What are you in to? Do you have any hobbies?
Well actually I am very much into gaming…
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