Feeling at a loss

I just got informed at work today that I am going to be turning regular (I work for the post office), but I have no idea how to feel because I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I have friends, but they seem further and further away as I work more. Stuff keeps getting more expensive, which makes me want to stay with my parents forever (I’m a 28 year old college grad), but that is a bad idea for many reasons.

I feel like a failure because I am not married, but I am debt free (a rarity at my age). I am so confused and I would love some help.


Hey Alex

I don’t think you’re a failure for living with family, or for not being married. You say you want to stay with your family to save money, but that living with them for a long time is not a good idea. I don’t know what the full context is there, but sounds like you want to move out, but it is expensive.

I think in the end that your intuition and gut. What your heart tells you is best for you. Following these kinds of things are good when we aren’t sure what to do. As long as what your intuition is telling you to do is not something that is going to bring down your quality of life and ability to provide for yourself. Being debt free is amazing though.

What specifically are you confused about, and looking for help with?

Welcome to Heart Support Alex -
And congrats on your step to reach out. We are available to listen and support in whatever way we can.
First, as a 28 year old debt free college grad – CONGRATS. That is something for which to be proud. Seriously.

Without knowing details, I can understand your desire to be independent, and I’m betting your parents want that for you, for your own sense of accomplishment as well as for necessary space on many levels. Know that those of us (I’m one) with 28 year old college graduates (single) who need to return to live at home from time to time ABSOLUTELY know that the world today is way different than when we graduated. Your generation is literally squeezed financially to the point that basic life expenses are near impossible for any level of savings. Do not beat yourself up about that.

At the same time, the need to create a community for yourself is so important. You might consider being very intentional about that. A gym membership, a kickball league, any interests that can put you in connection with people your age on a regular schedule – something that truly speaks to you – not just the goal of meeting people.

Congrats on your steady work and whatever time you can find to stay connected to your friend base is great. I wonder how many of your friends share your struggle.

Try to take one day at a time, noting every small step to connect to others and explore interests – of course your time is tight, but your well-being is dependent on healthy balance. Do YOU – do it WELL in both work and leisure. You may feel way better as a start. The rest will fall in place – have faith and stay patient and relentless.
Connect any time.

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From humpmastersenior: As a parent I feel your frustrations, my son is your age and he still lives at home as well.
On one hand I’d like em to move out, but on the other hand, my wife and I are getting older and it’s nice to know he’s around to help us, we are fortunate enough to have a big home and be able to provide a place for him.
Just want to say I’m sure your parents are glad to have you and just be thankful you get to spend time with them.
As far as marriage goes, we’ll, I’ve been married 36 years now, so commitment again.
But I’m sure when you meet the right one your heart will know.
Believe in your lord and yourself and he will guide you. The lord is your sheppard.
Not to be religious
But just want you to know you have my support no matter what you decide, and life is harder now more than ever.
Take care, be safe.