Feeling bleh and junk

I just i feel like I’ve hit a rough patch again, things are getting better in my life but i feel so alone. My family is the main cause of my depression so i can’t turn to them and the only people i can turn to is my friends who all live out of state. And with no car or license it makes it hard to just go places an try an meet people.

I just feel bleh an like if I died tomorrow it wouldnt matter. I just wish i had more people to talk I guess so i could feel wanted … since my own family doesn’t.

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I feel like I read something I wrote myself. I’m sorry you feel alone. Things that help me in that same state of isolation are things like Twitch or other chat room type things where there are always people around. Even thought it’s not a physical present person it’s a place to connect and find friends. I met the closest people in my current life on an online chat based game. Keep your head up, you matter and your life has impact on the world. I have no car and no license either so I feel you 100%

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Xojustjulesxo,
I am so sorry you have to deal with this , tbh it may feel like you are alone but you arnt . You have us heart support , you have your friends . You said your family is a main cause of your depression, well I think it’s the best to tell them how they make you feel . Hiding your emotions isn’t healthy at all . Maybe you can try talking to your friend about how you feel . It sucks when your friends are out of state and you arnt able to drive . If you were to die , it WOULD matter . People care about you and we don’t want you to end your life . Your life is pressious . Thanks for coming to talk to us about how you feel . You are always welcome . Just so you know ( YOU ARE WORTH IT, and hold fast friend .
-Ashley

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Hi friend.
Thank you for sharing this it’s so brave. Your life DOES matter and I know how hard it is to have friends living too far away that you don’t get to see them. All my friends live 2-3 hour drives away and as someone who doesn’t drive. It’s imoossible. So I understand that. I also don’t have the family support or understanding of what I’m going through and wish so much that I did. However that doesn’t make our lives any less important. We want you. We love you. You are important to us. You recognised at the start of this post that your life is getting better and that’s amazing. It takes so much strength to see that amongst the darkness we face everyday. I urge you to keep focussing on that. Maybe even look into getting yourself a copy of Dwarf Planet if you haven’t already. Between that and talking with people of this community my good days are now actually good and not just “I made it without harming” keep working on your smallest goals and contributing to that better life that we all know you can have. YOU ARE WORTH LIFE. Your friends will be just a message away. And so are we. We want you here, alive and happy. Keep fighting. You’ve got this!

Kayla

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xojustjulesxo,

I’m so sorry to hear about the rough time that you’re having with your family. Unfortunately I don’t have a very healthy immediate family structure either, and although it’s difficult to overcome, it IS possible. You’d be surprised with how many people secretly care about you. At times, I felt like no one cared about me - until I burst-fractured my spine. People came out of the woodworks to express their love and best wishes for me; I felt so overwhelmed and shock at the sudden support. I guarantee the same applies to you. And when all hope is lost, we here at HeartSupport care about you. I care about you.

-Eric