Here recently I’ve found myself becoming angry and filled with hate at things around the world, which ultimately makes me hate myself even more for being so weak.
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Hello @lonelyfreak,
The world is a terrible place, and hating it is deserved. The anger which comes from that all, however, does not necessarily lead to weakness. Anger can be a great motivator with which you can improve yourself and your surroundings, be it on a small or large scale, like when doing your laundry or casting a political vote. The trick is to not let it consume your entire life by leaving yourself open to experiencing other powerful emotions.
Best,
Anonymous
This is actually a really big statement for being such a small post. Moments of weakness are part of the recovery journey. If you’re experiencing those moments, just remember youre currently on the ride, and these things will pass, and you dont want to let them ruin the rest of the “rollercoaster”. It doesnt make you weak. It makes you human. Some people resent, some make poor choices, and some people fall back on addiction in times of weakness. If its bitterness its not tooooo bad. You’re not a machine, you’re a living breathing thing full of beautiful life to express. Dont let how terrible the world is outside of your being dictate how you experience your rollercoaster 
Casting a political vote is only one example of a larger-scale improvement. For another example, such a thing can involve volunteering at a non-profit organization of your choosing. Regardless of what it looks like, the point is that anger can lead to changes big and small.
Is it possible that you are depressed? Depression can frequently leave you with little to no energy and cause frustration as a result.
Perhaps you could start by pursuing treatment for your depression.
Hey lonely freak, having feelings of anger about the world around us or even about ourselves doesn’t make us weak. Anger is as much a natural human emotion as any other.
We can all relate to some degree about feeling frustrated by the events happening in the world, even by every day things going on around us.
Self diagnosis probably isn’t the most helpful way to figure out what’s going on, I hear you saying that you don’t have the money to start pursuing treatment, I’m not sure if there are bulk billing dr clinics near you or even if you see a go/doctor, if so it’s okay to talk to them about how you’re feeling. It doesn’t necessarily mean medications or anything intense, but sometimes they have good suggestions on how to cope.
At the end of the day the best person to help propel us forward is ourselves. It’s always good to reach out for support, we just have to use that support as a stepping stone. It’s hard at times and it’s a long reach at times, but you are a capable being
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I have actually been in this position. I was diagnosed as a child with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. The hard part for me for a while was being able to afford counseling or therapy as an adult after moving out of my parents, and even harder if they give you perscriptions. I remember a time i had to choose between food for a few days or to make my session. But that being said, there have been moments in my life where that one therapy session a month literally saved my life here and there… missing your appointments or not being able to get one becasue of fincancial crisis is understandable and nothing to beat yourself up over. My biggest mistake was that it felt like a double whammy becasue i wasnt getting therapy i needed, and it felt like my own fault because i was broke… sometimes things need to fester a little before they get better, and growing pains, i can say from experience, even when you’re at your lowest look different in the future. When things get better, and they always do… it wont seem so bad. Sending my best wishes. Feel better soon buddy.
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Remember there is someone else out there who wrote it… you are definately not alone…
Positive Vibes,
I appreciate how you speak on this topic. We all have lots of emotions, the tricky part is what we do and how we use them.
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I’ve given up again oh I’ve given up again!
I’m not a good person, I constantly view the world as a terrible place. I just have a hard time caring about random people and I don’t see the point anymore. Ultimately I feel as though I’m a hindrance to this world as my name states I’m a freak.
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Hello lonelyfreak. I am so glad you came on HeartSupport. You feel like its difficult to care about anyone. We all have a right to feel the way anyway you want. You are not a bad person at all. You may have went through some thing that brought you to think this way, or maybe not. The world can be a terrible place. Everywhere you turn, there is something negative that is happening all around us and its hard to see the good when there is so much bad. I will say the negative has nothing to do with you. You are worth it. You matter to me and everyone on here. Im sorry that the world makes you feel like this. Sometimes, I feel the same way. What is the point of caring when no one around me cares. Your feelings towards others do not make you a bad person, it makes you human. There is only one perfect person, and he loves you unconditionally. You continue to be strong and know that their are people in this world that care about you, and understand your feelings do not make you a bad person. I hope we can talk again soon. Thank you for sharing your story and being brave enough to come on here.
I’m surprised anyone replied to this I expected people to be put off by what I said and just want to ignore me until what I said got buried.
Hello lonelyfreak. We all say things that confuses or they just dont understand. I say things all the time that put people off, its just a part of our nature and what we do as human beings. We are all entitled to how we feel whether its good, or bad. Im letting you know I heard you. Im there for you and I care for you. Your life matters always. Thanks for responding. I hope my words helped.
Thanks I appreciate it.
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Anytime friend. Im here for you.
I swear every day pushes me closer and closer to my breaking point I don’t fit in anywhere with anybody.
I hate myself I want to die I hate how ugly I am and how pathetic my body is I fucking hate everything about me I just want to die I want fucking disappear.
Hi lonelyfreak, you are beautifully made. God never makes mistakes. You are an image of him. I understand how that feels. Your image is not what you want to see, I hear you. There are always things about us that we want to change because society tries to tell us how to look. A lot of those people are feeling the same way, even though society says they live up to their standards, they still feel like you and I do. They are not happy with theirselves either. I know you have great qualities, one being coming on here and showing others that they are not alone in how they feel. They are reading this and saying wow I am not alone in this. I would like to change alot of things about myself. I look in the mirror and feel sad and disappointed because I dont look the way I want to look. The world is always trying to con others into thinking what we need to do to be accepted, but you have a group that feels for you and cares for you right here. Just remember you are beautifully made because you are you my friend! Continue to be strong because you are doing great!!