I’m feeling like I can’t do anything and my girlfriend can’t do anything to keep our relationship strong. We’ve known each other for over two years and are now forced to be in a long distance relationship. Her parents dispise me and, from what my girlfriend told me wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me if they ever saw me again. And yes my girlfriend is 24 and I’m 27, everyone always asks that, she has a mental disability and not sure but we believe her parents has adult guardianship over her. She tells me things like how I’m the only person who keeps her from commiting suicide and how her parents are always treating her like a child not letting her make her own decisions and how her parents are always arguing with each other verbally violently causing her to have panic attacks. She believes no one with legal power can help her or will believe her, they’ll just believe her parents unless she has evidence that her parents are mentally abusing her. She told me her dad has been touching her sexually and feels trapped to do anything about it thinking know one will believe her. I feel like there’s nothing I can do for her if her parents has guardianship over her and no one with legal power will believe me without hard evidence. I’ve already talked to people with legal advise but they say if her parents has guardianship over her then it’s probably not gonna work out. I’m so confused and hopeless. I feel like we’ll never see each other again… we can’t even video chat with each other thinking her parents will catch her and find out.
Hey,
Thank you for sharing all of that. I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. Have you tried contacting a sexual assault crisis service?
I volunteer for mine in Connecticut and we have connections to lawyers who specialize in sexual violence. And if she has an intellectual disability, that should be reported to the Dept of Developmental Services ASAP.
I also just wanted to address that you are not responsible for the actions of others. It is unfair for your gf to say that you are the only person who keeps her from suicide. That is not your burden to bear and God forbid something did happen, it would not be your fault.
Hold Fast. We believe in you.
How can any of that help her. She has no proof of those accusations, the’ll just be accusations? And how will a lawyer help, her parents has control over her money so how is she going to pay for a lawyer?
Lawyers that come through services like I am talking about, often do it for free. And if she does have an intellectual ability, there are strict laws about that needing to be reported, so the appropriate department in your state would have to do an investigation if they saw fit.
I don’t know what state you are in, but I am a sexual assault crisis counselor in Connecticut and that is how we do things
From my knowledge her mental disability comes from her extreme social anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Idk about any intellectual disability. I’m in Kansas
Oh ok, so then don’t worry about that intellectual disability stuff. Just google sexual assault crisis hotlines in your state and try giving them a call. They might be able to guide you in how to navigate this situation and they can definitely support you emotionally if nothing else.
If you are concerned for her and think it might be beneficial, that could be a good option
But I also want to remind you that you do not need to fix this entire situation yourself. This is a heavy burden to carry, so make sure you are taking care of yourself throughout this process
Why would they want to listen to me. Wouldn’t they want to listen to my gf (the victim) about that since nothing I say will help them. Plus my gf told me even though her dad touches her sexually, squeezing her butt and even kissed her lips, she still doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her parents. She says she just wants to get away from them to live with me though I don’t see how that’s possible.
If the hotline has good counselors, then they focus on what we call secondary survivors, which in this case is you. All I am saying is if you or your gf wants some more specific and free types of help, you or her can call a hotline like the one I described. They can navigate all of these questions that you have as well as all the emotions
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