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Feeling hopeless


#1

Hi, I am feeling so low today. I am battling a brain tumor I have have days with so much pain. Conventional ways don’t work Alternative therapy was helping but I can’t afford it. My boyfriend of six years is an alcoholic and he does cocaine as well idk how much i just found out. We live together for past 2 years. He never really been supportive I feel so alone he was given money from his moms life insurance 2 years ago when she passed. Its over 100 thousand and yet he refuses to help me pay for treatment that could save my life he sometimes like 2 times a year will pay a bill for us like hydro to say he give me a break. It’s not that I am ungrateful for that its I don’t understand when he sees me in pain and that its a serious life situation and he wont help me. I don’t understand why… he gets angry of i even suggest he says you think im suppose to pay for everything and spend all my money… idk i feel so empty


#2

@EarthOwl I’m so sorry you’re battling this BUT it sounds like it’s time to approach your boyfriend about his drug and drink problem. Was your boyfriend supportive for ANY part of the relationship? It sounds like your boyfriend is in active addiction (just talking from experience) and as an addict myself, I know that a lot of the things I did and said for YEARS of my life weren’t actually things I would ever see myself doing/saying. It was because I would either be high/craving and so wasn’t myself. If it’s possible, try and appraoch him about his alcohol and cocaine addiction, you need to be firm with him. Tell him how you feel when he drinks/uses. YOU need to make him realise how serious what you’re dealing with is, and how much the treatment could help no matter what that takes. It’s going to be hard but I know for a fact I wouldn’t even have seen the start of my recovery if it wasn’t for certain people being brutally honest and pushing me in the right direction. I hope you can find some relief from pain very soon and I hope you can speak to your boyfriend, whether through letter or face to face.

Hold Fast
Kayla


#3

Hello, @Kayla thank you for replying. I have talked about it with him and he wont stop and he wont get help. He knows how serious cancer is his mom died from it 2 years ago. He has been an addict years before her death and I have been sick and no he hasnt been supportive really at all. I tried to think of it because his mom wasn’t the supportive type or compassionate kind. So maybe he doesn’t understand how to be like that. Idk. Thanks for being open to me about your past addictions. hes really mean sometimes he makes me feel bad about money and my illness. It hurts me more because he makes it out to be like he takes care of me and is this great guy to people at work etc. He would be hung over and use my illness to seem like hes this supportive boyfriend staying home to care for me. It all makes me feel so angry and alone sometimes


#4

Hey @EarthOwl - I remember you from your last post; thank you for updating us on your situation. Following up on your post above replying to Kayla, do you know why he won’t help you? I feel like there’s a deeper reasoning as to why he won’t help. His alcoholism continues to lead me to believe that’s he’s trying to mask some type of pain. I would encourage you to try to go deep with him and to ask him a bunch of “why” questions, but not in a condescending way. Let him know how you truly feel. If he loves you then he’ll understand and meet you half way.


#5

@EarthOwl

You are going through a lot. I am sorry that you are going through this difficult time alone, and that your boyfriend doesn’t seem to be much of a support to you. Do you have any friends or family who are there to support you in this time? Keep sharing with us. We want to hear your story and be here for you.