I don’t even know where to begin so I’ll just start talking I guess. I was told that a friend in one of the discord servers I’m a part of took there life. I have talked to this person before and tried to help them and it got to the point where all I could do it just give them the crisis hotline number. Well only I few minutes ago I found out that he didn’t go through with it. While I’m glad i just feel so angry, confused and sad. Angry because I tried to help, but then he goes into the server and says stuff like “I’m done,” or “I’m not worth caring about*.” It just hurts and I feel like all I have done to try to help was for nothing. I’m confused because I feel guilty as well even though I know I did the best I could and also sad that he would even think about this is the first place. Now I know these feelings can very much be overwhelming and take over I just I guess I’m just scared because this hit close to home. I’m not really looking for advice just some encouragement I guess to get me though the day. I haven’t felt this emotional in a very long time.
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, @Septic_Ang. This is a tragic event that should never happen… My heart goes out to you.
In such circumstances, it makes absolutely sense to feel confused, guilty, and just have so many emotions at once. Thank you for sharing what’s in your heart here. This is so important.
I’m confused because I feel guilty as well even though I know I did the best I could and also sad that he would even think about this is the first place. Now I know these feelings can very much be overwhelming and take over
It’s good that you’re aware of that. Yet sometimes what the mind knows can be very different from what the heart feels. The guilt you feel is absolutely valid, but you also know rationally that what happened is not your fault. I don’t know the details of your relationship, only what you just shared here, and it’s obvious that you did what you could. You listened, you provided resources. The step of using those or to keep pushing on is, unfortunately, in the hands of the person who’s struggling. But it sounds that you already know that from a personal standpoint too.
I hear that this might be both shocking and triggering to you right now. If you’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts yourself, knowing that someone lost their battle can be very defeating. There might be some intense emotions right now, but you will make it through, friend. You’ll be okay. It’s good that you reach out. It’s good that you’re here. Because you’re not alone. 
Is there something you could try to do to take care of yourself today? Just simple and restful things, nothing draining. Or maybe someone you would like to spend some time with? You might need to give yourself lots of compassion and care in times to come, just to bring a bit of safety to your heart - and that’s totally okay. And if you need to get things off your chest here, feel absolutely free to do so.
I’m sending virtual hugs to you.
I’ve thankfully never had those thoughts but have had many friends who have. I’m just the kind of person who feels that everyone should be treated equal and I think that kinda bits me in the ass some times. But thank you for your response I appreciate it very much 
And yes I’m going out to the store to buy some foods to try to distract myself for the day
Thank you for your response. <3
I’ve thankfully never had those thoughts but have had many friends who have. I’m just the kind of person who feels that everyone should be treated equal and I think that kinda bits me in the ass some times.
I hear you. Those are some heavy feelings to process, and there’s a deep sense of injustice there… For what it’s worth, I can be an emotional wreck as well for feeling a bit too much for others. Pain cannot be shared, but it can be felt and understood. In this kind of moment, I find it helpful to try to focus on simple things, small joys and pleasures of daily life. It doesn’t solve everything, it doesn’t change reality, but it helps easing the pain and, hopefully, turn it into a strength. But I’m aware that what works for me is very personal too.
I hope and wish you to find what suits you the most and help you regain some peace in your heart. But also to allow yourself to just feel as you need, for the time you need, and without any judgment. Your heart is good. It shows how much you care and love.
Take care friend.
I am in the same situation as well. Someone I loved and was close to took their life at the end of July. Daily I try to do what he made me promise to do which is to live my life to the fullest and never take anything for granted. Daily I try to be strong and carry on. You did the right thing by trying to help them. At the end it was their decision and perhaps they were feeling too much pain to think of a better way out. Take care of yourself, be gentle to yourself, if you find yourself in that same spot, please get help. Take care my friend.
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