Snubz, friend, I feel for you. I think I know what you mean by being lost. Of course, I can’t really know but from your words there are things that resonate with emotions I’ve felt in the past 6 months. Some, if not many of those feelings of lost, not measuring up, even after talking with a therapist seemed to direct me to the idea that they were emotions first with thoughts tied to them. A weird idea but the more I tried to validate the feelings of lost the more I found examples that didn’t reinforce it. Of course my brain would give me examples of why I was a burden, or why people didn’t like me or why I was lost but there was also other examples that contradicted it. Just my brain wasn’t being nice and freely giving me those examples. I was conveniently “omitting” them from my internal narrative. What is working for me currently is when I feel those ways I think “these are emotions, my brain is going through an emotional state right now. I don’t need to try to validate those emotions with examples.” And just let the feelings be as they are but without me thinking of things that justify and reinforce those low thoughts.
I know hearing from Danjo and Casers of the amazing things you’ve done. I’m sure those things aren’t just limited to HS. You might not feel it at the moment, and if it helps right them down, but reinforce the good moments you’ve done that contradict the negative narrative. Good luck to you. Know that you ARE loved, friend.
Mantlebeard
