Feeling like I can’t talk to anyone

Lately my anxiety and depression has been getting worse. I’ve been in a really dark place and have had those nights where I thought about ending everything more frequently. I don’t think I ever would, even though I feel like this often there’s people in my life I love too much to leave. I love many other things about life in general too, but as I’m sure many of you can understand, no matter how good the good days can be, the bad ones can still feel overpowering sometimes.

Anyway, I’ve just been feeling like I have no one to talk to. Well, that’s not true. I talk to a counselor, rarely though, because that’s about all I can afford, and I have a couple amazing, really close friends and my parents are absolutely incredible, loving people. The thing is, whenever I have tried to talk to them about how I’m feeling, they just immediately cut in and start trying to offer solutions. Is it money? Let’s find you another job, any ideas? Are you lonely? Maybe getting in a relationship would help! Is it your choice of career path? Health? Let’s go to a doctor! — all these things are maybe great pieces of advice that could help, and I believe they say them with a genuine desire to help, but I can’t remember the last time I just had someone look at me and say wow, I am so sorry, that has to be really hard. Someone to simply agree, and offer nothing more than a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on for even just a moment. I’m tired of having devotionals, jobs and other possible solutions thrown at me and sometimes, if only for a moment, just need nothing more than to know that people understand what I’m dealing with, and understand that it’s a very real, hard struggle. Every time I try and explain that they get upset at me for not wanting help. I don’t want to get in arguments over that so I often just say never mind and re-direct the conversation or walk away.

Do you guys ever have this problem with those around you? How do you deal with it?

I just moved away from my friends (the only people who i truly believe care about me) across the country, and my mom does that same exact thing. I completely understand what you are going through and i hope you feel better soon.

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It is a stigma that depression is a feeling and not a condition. You need them to understand that it is like the weather that it can be coped with. Yet it can’t be controlled. (It is like having a sunny day, but the one cloud in the sky blocks the sunshine from you and only you.) It is good that they’re offering solutions, but if the job or anything else is not the problem then you should let them know that they’re not the problems. Speak up.

How I do it is I either endure it, distract myself or do what your doing which is talk about it.

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I feel you, stay strong.