Feeling like I'm therapist who needs therapy!❤️🙃

I met a girl in during elementary education in class 8th . Since then we were some sort of friends , then things changed ; we’re then more than just friends then we kissed each other but she never mentioned she loves me or not !:slightly_frowning_face: … Things changed I screwed up our secret to her best friend , then she some sort of dumped me , time passed 6 months while I was already moved on to other city for further education but still throughout the time gap I was kind of depressed thinking about my mistakes and living with the hope she’ll forgive me one day and things will be better then .
Then I made my mind to ask one of our classmates to tell her that I misses her …just the other she called me !:heart::slightly_smiling_face: And talked a while
Well then I continued myself apologizing to her and she said she had already forgiven me and that’s why she is talking to me.
Then time passes by , I was one of her caring and concern friend again …things were getting back to the places and then I asked again about what she feels about me
Then she started to ignore me , my frustation was increasing day by day but at that time I just let myself think let it be as your punishment for breaking her trust !:heart::weary:
Time changes a lot tings , I used to get overthink about her then , over obsession and all … I started getting mad at her , she still a lot times used to avoid me
But now it’s my time to start over my class 12th well furnished , I want to clear things with her and wanted to move on or be with her !:heart::slightly_smiling_face:
Hoping for the best , but I’m not getting the right opportunity still suffering from the ignorance and all
Feeling like worthless , burden to her , stupid to myself , destroying my career , feeling like I’m losing myself !
Help me resolve my so called non ethical issue with my conscious mind!:slightly_frowning_face::muscle:t2:

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It’s always a tough situation when you have no idea where you stand with someone. I was in a similar situation some time ago. I was friends with this girl for years, then something happened between us. We were together for around 8 months. Everything was great at first, then maybe 5 months in it became a push me away then pull me close type relationship. I explained to her that now that I love her that I couldn’t go back to just being friends. I explained how to her how her distancing herself from me, then wanting me was effecting me. She was battling with her own insecurities and fears from past relationships. In the end things just fell apart between us. It hurt bad, I didn’t only lose my girlfriend, but also my best friend. I eventually had to surrender to acceptance and know that maybe someday we will be together, but the time isn’t right at the moment. It’s hard, but try not to attach your happiness and well being to others, in times like these focus on yourself, your own growth and happiness, then if one day the time is right, you’ll be in a much better position.

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It’s definitely hard not to understand why people leave or ignore you. It’s okay to feel hurt and frustrated and get mad, but sometimes we have to allow ourselves to heal from that and look after ourselves. You said you felt like you lost yourself pursuing to make amends?
Who do you feel you are and who do you want to be? What kind of job or hobbies will make you happy? Surround yourself with good people who are here in the present.
You’re not a burden or worthless, it seems that you’ve both just chosen different paths.

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Let’s just be clear: what you did and what is happening shouldn’t be seen as punishable. I can understand her being upset at first, but then she forgave you. If she really forgave you, she shouldn’t bring that past issue up again. It doesn’t sound to me like you’ve done anything worthy of “punishment.” This isn’t about you–this is about her, her insecurities, and her uncertainties, and unfortunately you’re the collateral damage. I went through that before with a serious girlfriend. I knew I had done nothing wrong when she pulled away, but still wondered why it was happening to me. Eventually I had to embrace that it still wasn’t my fault, and it was happening to me for no particular reason other than bad luck and her insecurity. I know you love her, but you need to love yourself more and set yourself free.

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Thank you so much !:heart: , I’m highly obliged to this community with the idea helping people through their tough times​:fire::muscle:t2:

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Hey @mr.lucky5123

I’m sorry you were feeling worthless and like a burden when you posted, because you’re far from being those things. Our friends said it all here: that’s about her, not you. Her attitude really displays a lot of insecurities - not talking about an issue and choosing to ignore or avoid you is not healthy. It actually deletes any possibility for a good communication to happen, therefore for both you and her to move on together.

No matter what you do in the future or how you envision this relationship, never forget that you are deserving of respect. Always. A relationship is made of two people, of reciprocity and commitment on both ends. It can’t be handled only by one person and it can’t happen without honesty and a certain amount of communication. So, take your time, be safe, and know that if you need any kind of feedback, you have friends right here who only want the best for you.

Take care. :hrtlegolove:

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