I feel like I can slowly feel myself slipping back into my old ways. I haven’t self injured in 13 days and I don’t really feel the want to self injure currently, but I can feel myself slipping back into my unhealthy habits.
I just feel tired and drained all the time. I stay up late, I eat so unhealthy, I am basically just at my house all day because no job yet.
I’m just really tired. I just don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m just kind of sick of trying because I always get back to this place.
I also got to the section in Dwarf Planet (chapter two finally ) where it talks about how depression and routine are related. I guess I see that a lot right now- like waking up at a certain time, even though recently I’ve been sleeping in late because there is just nothing to look forward to besides the same tasks everyday- wake up, eat breakfast, start laundry, do dishes, pick up room, etc… I have hobbies, like making music and art- but it seems like even those are becoming part of the monotonous cycle. Which sucks because I love to do those things.
I guess I am just meant to go in this cycle over and over again.
I spend most of my day alone usually so I know the feeling. Sometimes people just get to comfortable with the way things are. Why do you always get back to this place? Is it because its familiar? is it because your always bored? Is it because you don’t really wanna be happy? The point I’m trying to make is identify why you keep ending back up in the same place over and over if you haven’t done so already. One thing I’ve been learning is that sometimes we can be our own worst enemy because we’re too comfortable with our cycle of depression. Depression sucks but when depression is all you know it can be hard to identify with anything other than depression which can lead to you unknowingly digging a hole deeper for yourself. If you keep slipping up then its time to attack your problem at the root. Im in the same exact place as you so we can do it together. Love you Lyss -Stylin
First of all, I want to congratulate you for making it 13 days without self-injuring! That’s something to celebrate and you should be proud of yourself!
Although scientists aren’t completely sure as to why every living thing needs sleep, it’s unanimously agreed upon that sleep is extremely important. Studies show that your “prime hours” are between 10pm-2am, and that a lack of sleep can be directly correlated to feelings of depression. When I’m going through swings, I make sure that my #1 priority is to get enough sleep (and to definitely go to bed earlier than usual). All of that to say, I would strongly recommend for you to start there. In addition, studies also show that unhealthy eating habits also have a correlation to feelings of depression. If you start with re-analyzing your sleeping and eating habits, I’m positive that you’ll start to see a little turnaround begin to happen. You’re strong and we believe in you!
Hey Lyss. I’m so proud of you on hitting 13 days. I get the feeling of not wanting to do anything and just sleeping through the day. But remember what we keep talking about. The fact you’re here posting on the wall right now is amazing. I know how hard it’s been for you applying for jobs but just know one will come. The fact that you’re able to wake up every morning and do your essential things is a big step in itself. Keep going with this. You’re stroger than you know and you can beat this.