I have debated posting on here for a really long time. I am very scared of sharing how I feel or what I am thinking, but I feel now is the time to talk about what I am feeling in hopes someone can give a helping hand.
I’m trapped in a repeating world. I wake up, go to work, sleep. I am so exhausted everyday and I can’t seem to find enjoyment in anything anymore. I work in a Barbershop, My job is pretty easy and my boss is a very cool person, but I hate my job. I used to love cutting hair, but I am forcing myself to go to work everyday. I feel as if I give nothing to society, and that i’m taking up space. I will never find love and I will be alone. So many feelings rush through my head everyday. That my family and friends are going to die, or that I might end up losing myself.
I feel as if I am already lost, and that i’m holding on to a rope that is close to breaking. I can’t expect anyone to pull me up but I need something to keep me going.
I get it. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Doing the same thing every day can be mind numbing. It’s tricky though, because I’m sure at some point you probably worked pretty hard to build your routine. It’s good to have stability, but complacency is only nice for a little while. When I was a kid I used to rearrange my room every so often just to switch things up. At the time I didn’t really think much of it, but looking back it made a huge difference. Try switching things up. Start small. Not saying you should rearrange your bedroom (although it’s surprisingly rewarding, lol) but something to switch up your routine. Perhaps a new hobby? Step outside your comfort zone. Boredom is easily dismissed, but over time it can really take it’s toll on you if you let it.
What is it that you don’t like about your job? or your life? you don’t have any other purpose? do you have people you associate with?
Just one idea for now. Could you invite your boss and fellow barbers and their partners out for a meal and drink? Tell them how you’re feeling. I am sure some of them will do their best to help you.
Oh man do i know this monotonus feeling. I work 10 hours a day come home eat shower sleep and repeat it all the next day. Something im realizing though. That robotic feeling is pretty common. We are all in this capitalist society/rat race waking up and pushing repeat on our lives from the day(s) before. Let me ask you this though: when was the last time you took time out for yourself? Did something you truly enjoy? I haven’t in quite some time and i think that may very well be the key to getting out of the matrix for a moment or at least finding some respite from it all. Keep your head up and do some self care. You Will thank you later.