It’s almost a year since my dad passed away, I spent majority of it feeling numb and I don’t cry often about it. I find it difficult to dicuss because when the times comes my emotions are blank. It’s just gone so fast and I find it hard to believe that he died, it feels likes a dream I can’t wake from.
Since he’s passed I managed to get a new job and I have a supportive team which has helped. The only problem is I don’t seem to enjoy doing much anymore life just seems pointless most of the time. The weeks keep repeating and I feel the same.
The day he died broke my heart and I miss him. I feel like I’m never going to happy again.
Right now you are still in the process of grieving and coping with life without him. It takes time to get back into the groove of life and trying to piece everything back together again. When you least expect it your emotions will come pouring out and you will experience more joy.
Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, its really nice to see you.
I am so sorry that you lost your dad, time does go so fast doesnt it and yet its probably been one if not the hardest one. I myself have not had to grieve the loss of a parent yet but its one I fear greatly and I feel for you so much.
You have done so well to get a new job though. That really is something to be proud of yourself for.
I can understand that you feel you heart broke that day and that takes time to heal and the feeling of things being pointless and the lack of interest in life I would imagine is all part of that process.
Did you have any grief therapy to help you? would you consider it?
Im not saying you need it, I think you are going through the process quite normally and as the old saying goes, time is a healer, its just one of those times when you want it to get better (not to forget) but for the pain to stop.
I hope that being here and being able to share your feelings can be of help to you.
Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x
Thank you, leading up to his funeral time slowed down but after then it just went by so clicking. I was hoping by now I could give some advice on how to deal with it but I’m still drawing a blank on it. I needed a new job my last one made me miserable and I didn’t help my mental health. I’m just happy I got a new job i was trying for months.
I tried counselling and after 1 phone call I didnt get any calls despite them saying they tried to contact me so I didn’t try again. I find through the week my emotions are non existent and it’s only the weekends they tend to show but I know I will get through this, I have to for my dad
I’m so so sorry for your loss. Sometimes it doesn’t matter the time between loss, it can weigh heavily. Have you been trying to hold yourself together and be strong?
I’m so glad you’ve got a new job! Sometimes a change of environment can be so helpful and refreshing. For me I also love listening to podcasts about people who are also dealing with similar things and hearing how they cope and knowing that I’m not alone. Has there been things that you’ve found that have maybe eased the burden of perhaps feeling like you’ve got to keep pushing through in your own?
I know you mentioned having good supportive team around you which is also so amazing to hear.
I think the thing about grief is that everyone knows it, but everyone experiences it differently at the same time. It’s not something that has a defined beginning and end, and that’s hard especially when you don’t know how long your heart will keep holding it in.
Sometimes even doing something special to remember them, either talking about memories, creating art (I’m terrible at art, but I made a piece for my grandma after my grandpa died and I actually love it and it helped her too), cooking their favourite meal. Little things to help remember something positive and to help your heart heal.
I remember you from Kit’s stream, good to see you again! Feeling numb, ah I remember that well, for me it was protective, and time got wonky for me too. I’m glad that you got the new job to help structure your day, and I suspect that this is why the weekend are harder. Is there any special thing you can do to celebrate him? A special place, favourite meal? Maybe you can have a small celebration of him, have others over to share stories and just bond and share old memories while making some new ones. Grief is a process, we all \go through it differently, but there are stages to it. You got this friend, and we’re here for you! You matter.
Do something, watch something, smell sonething that reminds you of him to an extreme level. It might take the emptiness away. Put a healthy sorrow in that void. Let the tears out, though more painful than hell.
The feeling you described reminded me a lot of when my sister had depression. Maybe you can look into things for heloing people with depression, it could help you.
- Pengyou