I was at school today and in my one class waiting to receive my exam results. My professor said that he graded all of them except mine but can pick it up later today. Afterwards he ranted about the scores and accused the whole class of not putting in any effort and that we are not trying. Class average was 50 percent. Meanwhile I felt my heart race and my head spinning throughout the whole class period and basically was trying to stay focus in class while my body was entering into an acute anxiety attack. I made it through class but my body was freaking out internally. Fortunately one of my friends saw me and knew that something was going on and was able to get me to an empty classroom where it was in full effect. My body was twitching like I was having a seizure and I was crying. She stayed with me throughout the time and even walked with me to my professor’s office to pick up my exam. The exam was awful and when I went to ask him something he blew me off. I lost my cool when I left his office. This semester has been hell and all I want is to do well but he is not being reasonable and thinks that we are lazy and that we do not care. I am fighting to make sure I am doing well and I know the rest of my class is. I feel hopeless and that I let myself and people who care about me down.
I’m so sorry - lecturers should never put their students down like that, I remember having a teacher the exact same and I hated it. I’m glad that you have a friend there that can help you and keep you grounded, is there a way you can work together to get your grades up if you’re not happy with them? Maybe another teacher or school tutor? When I was struggling I would have 1-1 sessions with another teacher of that subject that I trusted and who understood me and it helped.
Keep reaching out to that friend, it sounds like she’s someone you can trust and wants to help. Keep coming to the wall, the community discord - there might even be some people there that can help you to understand work you’re strugglinf with at times! Thank you for trusting us <3
Man, I can totally relate to the overwhelm. Sometimes in college it can feel like your entire life is on the line with some of these grades…they feel so permanent and unchanging and like a mark on your self-worth you can never erase or upgrade or undo…it feels like if you fail, the whole world will you know are a failure, and everyone you love will know it too…and all you want, so desperately, is to prove yourself to them and to give them a reason for them to be proud of you.
That’d be enough reason to get an anxiety attack if you knew a horrible grade was coming…because it wouldn’t just be about the test but about the HAILSTORM of disappointment and criticism and worthlessness coming your way as a result of it.
Makes total sense you went through that, and I’m sorry that it seems like that class / professor is just way too much :\
Thank you @Kayla and @Nate. I am grateful that my friend saw me before it went into effect and was there while it was happening. At this point ai have to do well on the last exam and I am hoping and praying that I do. My advisor is trying to see if there is a way I can make the class up next term so that I can still be on track to graduate and it would not effect my GPA. I just want to get through this and hope and pray that it ends on a positive note.
Don’t give up. He may not seem to care. He does. His anger shows he cares. He is second guessing his teaching methods.
I don’t know how he teaches. I think more than likely it is the methods that the class is preparing for the exams. I suggest you all breakout into exam/homework study groups.
Hopefully, things gets better for you all.
Thanks @MentallyillGamer. We do and still the results don’t show. Just a quick update, my advisor was trying to help me out so that it would not affect my GPA and other goals but it did not work. I was a able to see my counselor yesterday and despite how intense it was, it definitely helped. At this point between now and the last exam I am going to try and study and review to the best of my ability. I know it may seem impossible but I am still fighting and trying to do everything I can to keep moving on. I thank you guys for your support.