I feel so low today. My best friend passed away 3 weeks ago, and i am still mourning over him. He was one of the greatest guy i known, my partner in crime , someone whom i look up to whenever i had troubles. I miss him so much that I cried almost every night hoping he would be here, and everything would be better…
Exams are coming up,and my parents are pressuring me to do well. They require me to get good grades, or they threaten that my freedom would be off with no phones or any form of any communication devices. No going out with friends too.
In order to please them, i studied everyday. But i have my limits too. I am feeling so done. I feel so strangled.
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I am so sorry for your loss @jantyh… The fact that you are still mourning your friend is absolutely normal. His disappearance happened recently, and your heart needs time to process what happened. I feel for you with all my heart. I see how you describe your friend, how much you were close to each other. And I am aware that nothing we could say here would really change how you feel right now. It is just beyond words. Through all of this, know that at least you are not alone. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to express how you feel. 
It also makes sense to feel done with studies. It’s already a challenge in itself, and it takes a really different shape when your heart is grieving. Your energy, emotional and physical, is drained. You are so brave to keep going on despite the pressure on your shoulders. But as you said, you have limits too, and it’s very wise to be aware of that. So I don’t know how is your relationship with your parents, but do you think you could talk with them about how you feel so they could understand that doing your best, in these circumstances, is not necessarily what fits in their standards? Sometimes even writing and giving a letter can help to express all of this. I understand that they want you to succeed in your studies, but maybe they need your help to understand how to support you the right way through this.
In any case, there is no doubt you are doing a lot, you are trying a lot. But your well-being is important too. Some balance will be needed here, otherwise you’ll probably be really exhausted, and that’s not what we want here, and certainly not what your parents want either.
I hope things will get better with them. I hope there is a possibility for all of you to communicate, to be caring and loving to each other before everything else. When life gets tough, we need our loved ones to support us. Know that this community will still be a safety net for you, anytime you need it.
Sending hugs to you.