Hey guys, I don’t know if any of you believe in God on here or are Christians, but I really need some help. So I’ve been busting my butt on this Health Science degree for YEARS. I finished my Associate’s and before I went on to my Bachelor’s I asked God if there was another direction he wanted me to go. He continued to lead me down the Health Science degree path. Everything fell into place with this degree and I felt at complete peace and ease. It felt like a HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders. I continued on and had great teachers. Some things happened and I had to take off. I went back all excited and ready to finish, but in July 2019, I started getting all of this anxiety and it felt like I wasn’t going for the right degree and I didn’t know what to do. My mind felt like I had to choose so many different degrees that I had never thought about ever doing, I was distraught because I was like “God, I have about 11 classes left now, why would you make me go for something else that’s going to take me way longer?” I had a mental breakdown and didn’t know what to do. In the Fall, I decided on taking an Upper level Health Science class and a Upper level Psychology class and my anxiety was so bad. It felt like I shouldn’t be in those classes, like I took the wrong classes. I was so upset because I was so excited about these classes. And it felt like I was getting pulled toward Psychology so I was confused and heart broken. I had to take an incomplete on the classes, but managed to get through them. I ended up taking about two blocks off. (Our courses are 7 weeks long and are called blocks). I went back in the second block of Spring and took a Sociology class. I was so happy around this time because I was doing a regimen and that stupid anxiety disappeared. I finally decided that I was going to do Health Sciences and finish since I was now 8 classes away from finishing and it wouldn’t make sense to do another degree. Plus while I was doing this class I missed Health Science severely. I ended up taking off the first block of Summer. I picked two classes for Summer 2 because my chairman wanted me to take an elective and an Upper level class for my degree. I was so excited. Then the anxiety came back of making me feel that I wasn’t doing the right degree or taking the right classes and it wouldn’t go away. I just kept saying it’s my anxiety and kept trying to power through. I prayed and prayed and prayed. Asking God to help me, to clear my mind, to guide me. I kept asking for advice and everyone told me to finish this degree. I came to my parents and they told me that it would be pointless to do another degree because I have 8 classes left on this degree and if I jumped ship to either a Behavioral Science degree or a Psychology degree, it would be about 12 classes. I had so much anxiety I was crying because I didn’t know what to do and was thinking about switching my classes. My dad prayed and I thought that I would feel better. I still have not felt better. I’ve been pushing and pushing. I just want my passion for this Health Science degree to come back…I want to cry so hard because I’m so close. I’m so depressed and I feel so sick. I keep praying, but it feels like God isn’t there…I’m in so much pain. My mom and dad said if I switch it’s going to take me so long because I can’t handle a lot of classes at once. My heart hurts so bad…
First of all it sounds like you mostly get anxiety when you feel like your doing good or like you are accomplishing something. I think you are doing your best right now and you should be so proud of how hard you worked and don’t let your mind tell you otherwise
I also wanted to share an experience. i have anxiety and depression and things like that and for a while i didn’t blame god but he just wasn’t the first one i went too. After a while i started praying to god. And about a week ago i was about to take my own life. I had attempted or thought about it before but never acted on it. But this time was different i was in so much pain that i was so numb at the same time and i was ready to die. The day i was about to kill myself i prayed to god and prayed and prayed and told him to help me and forgive me. But i still saw no hope i said “Give me a sign please let me know your there” and the next day i had a church camp so i prayed and said “let him talk about suicide and self harm”. I prayed this knowing that they wouldn’t talk about this because it was such a sensitve topic and no one ever talks about this in my church so i for sure thought i would kill me self anyways. but the next day at camp the preacher was giving prophetic words and he stopped all the sudden and said “I have such a strong feeling that some one needs prayer. I want to pray for anyone who is struggling with self harm or depression and anxiety” Right after he said that i started crying and i ran to the bathroom cuz i was soooo sad and reilved at the same time.
My point of sharing this story is so that you know god IS with you. It might be hard to go to him and feel like there’s no point or like he’s not paying attention to you but he issss have faith in him and he will give you strength
I can see just by what your saying how good you are doing in school and i am happy for you that you’ve made it this far. I do really want to help you through this cuz it is important that you succeed and have a future
I hope this was of help to you but never lose faith i know how hard it can be when there is so much on your mind and so much that you think could go wrong but im here to talk if you need